A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Should I stay in touch with this guy or move on? We knew each other briefly three years ago. We met in a nightclub, and we fancied each other, so we got each others phone numbers. We texted each other every day for about a month, and also had one date during that time. During the second month, he became more distant. He started to text less until eventually, he said he didnt think things were going to work out between us. Before he said that, i had asked if he wanted to meet up again, but we didnt. At that time, i was 23, and he was 21.Anyway, i sent him a friend request and a message on facebook about a year ago. He accepted the friend request, but didnt reply to my message. i just asked how he was, and told him what i had been up to. i found out by looking on his page that he had a girlfriend. a few months later, she became pregnant. their daughter is now three months old. I left some comments on some photos he posted after his daughter was born, just to say congratulations and that his daughter was cute.A few weeks ago, i logged on to facebook in the early hours of the morning, and the minute i logged in, he sent me a message on the instant messenger! i was shocked because i hadnt seen him or spoken to him for almost three years. and i was wondering why he would bother now, especially as he has a girlfriend and child ?. I have a boyfriend now, but i havent been with him very long. he might know i have a boyfriend as it says i am in a relationship on my page. neither of us mentioned him though, as we didnt chat for very long. he asked how life was treating me and said it meant tons to him and his girlfriend when i left the comments on the photos of their daughter. He also asked me to keep intouch with him. Again, i'm wondering why , and before he left, he put five kisses. he also put lots of exclamation marks on during the conversation too and a few questions marks when he asked a question. it seemed like he was eager to speak to me.has anyone else ever been in this kind of situation and why do you think he contacted me? i'm not sure if i should keep in touch with him or not. in a way, i want to, but in a way, i dont. i'm just confused at the minute.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): I say you cut your losses. I've seen this before and I've fortunately avoided it myself. Something seems fishy in the way he just wants to get back in touch with you all of a sudden. It can be for many reasons...his life with his girlfriend and new baby has probably got him wanting to see what else is out there before he gets overwhelmingly tied down with all the responsibilities of a new family. Another reason could be because he sees that your relationship status puts you as unavailable and you know how that goes sometimes; we want what isn't available to us. I'm not saying you have to cut him off completely because it could all be harmless, but just make sure things are platonic on both ends. Besides, you have a new chapter in your own life to look forward to, a new relationship that I doubt you're willing to risk for an old flame that left you hanging when things weren't right for him. Trust me, if there's doubt in your gut, go with it. Hope that helps :)
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