A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Last year I met someone, me and we instantly connected and became friends. At the time she was engaged, but there was trouble in that relationship. She would come to me for advice and we would just talk about anything. I helped her through the relationship, and admitted I liked her. She told me she just wants to be friends cause trust is a big issue to her. She said I was her first real true guy friend in her life. We saw each other almost every day because we shared a class at college. Over that time we learned alot about each other. She trusted me enough to give me her number, and even came over my house once for tutoring. We made great memories. Once the class ended she was talking with another guy who goes to her gym, but it was simply small talk. We didn't talk for that entire summer, not because of that but because her ex fiance was stalking her. She took care of it though.In the winter we reunited as friends, but it was over this time I missed her and realized she was everything I needed in life. I fell in love with her. We took another class together, and during the past few months she was in and out of a relationship trying to get over her fiance. I was there the whole time as her closest friend and someone who loves her in a way I never felt before. She even finally got over her ex fiance, after bumping into him again. Now here's were I get into my question... She recently told me she fell in love. I was shocked, because she never hinted this before. I guess she didn't wanna hurt me. She told me the guy who she loves was a friend who she was closer to than me. I had a small period of being angry and I'm still sad inside, but I accept it. I know when you love someone you want them happy, and she's happier than ever with him. Plus I have to much I need to do (get a job, save up for a car, etc.) so taking care of her would be hard. My only problem is she told me in a passed relationship I wouldn't be replaced. Why do I feel like her loving a better friend than me is basically replacing me. And with in the last few days I would text her simply sayin "Our time in this class is almost over and I'm gonna miss being with you", but she would say please dont text me so much and don't use the "love" word. I do you use it but not all the time. She told me she doesn't want her boyfriend mad and not wanting us talking, but if he did get mad she'd end our friendship. I stayed though so much of her drama and cared for her with all my heart. My heart wont let her go, because she's so special to me... Although we may never be together in a relationship should I just end it after this class or simply give her space? I feel like I need her in my life and this past few months we've gotten closer than ever, it just always seems like right when things are okay another guy enters her life and that makes things more difficult for me... especially because my heart will always love her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): As a friend, you have to give her space. Her feelings appear to be with her new man at this time.
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