A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Long story but im giving my ex another chance and we are taking it slowly. We spilt up cos he aint ready 4 commitment and hes had time to himself to work through his issues! But sometimes I feel that after weve had a nice day or evening together he backs off! And then i think is he just using me! But then i think different. Hes treated me to a lovely posh meal. Brought me chocs. Made me breakfast in bed.holds my hand when were out. Cuddles me all nite. We watched a dvd and he kissed and held my hand all the way through it.he didnt let me go and i genuinely think when we are together he means it. Tells me he loves me. Its just when he's not with me he dont seem as bothered! Am i just being paranoid? Its not like its a sex thing. Cos last nite after he took me out 4 a meal. I wanted it but he was to tired!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): This sounds exactly like my ex, except that he hasn't give me an answer when I gave him another chance. But I know all too well what's happening.
So listen girl, you are not paranoid. He is really not too bothered. He enjoys being comfortable with you, and cherish the nice company you provide, but to him you are not an necessity or someone 'special' enough for me to feel lucky to have and hold on to. He said he loves you (meaning 'care about you' blah blah) but he is not IN LOVE with you. My ex treat me the exact same way as you describe, and this is what he told me after some serious thinking he's done (in my case, he's having too much baggage from his recently divorce).
So either you put up with this behavior and go with the flow to see he'd turn around, or start fading out yourself by putting some distance, because he's not going to change.
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