A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys :)Have a really bad situation going on at the moment and I need all the help I can get... :(Recently I began working with this guy who I really got on with and we had this whole flirting thing going on but to be honest I didn't pay much attention to it because he's like that with most female colleauges. One night I asked for his number just because we were getting on so well and he gave it to me and texted me that night when we were both home.To cut a long story short after some texting he asked me out and we saw each other a lot during the last week and I ended up sleeping with him. Then the bombshell was dropped... he had a girlfriend... I didn't know what to think to say the least, I was so angry because I don't ever want to be the other woman. It's not fair on either party. He began telling me how he has fallen out of love with her yada, yada, yada... Told me he wants to break up with her and wants to do it soon.Anyway... I decided I actually liked him because I've had rubbish relationships in the past and he was treating me so well it was unbelievable... until of course he told me he had a girlfriend...Now he's gone back home for a few days (he lives in another part of the country when he's not working in the city - his girlfriend lives at home where he's from...) and told me that he needed the weekend to sort things out. I didn't ask him what that meant and just dropped it. So I texted him after work and said text me soon if he wanted to... it was a very sweet text but I ended it with that... I'm leaving it up to him.I don't need to be told how stupid I am because I know I am but I'm not the first and won't be the last to be in a situation like this. I haven't heard from him at all but I'm guessing that he's 'sorting things out'... or not... I don't even know if I'll hear from him till I see him in work again. That's in a month due to my schedule. I know it's stupid to like him but I don't know what to do, I'll be so disappointed for thinking that he was going to break up with his girlfriend if he doesn't... I just need a bit of advice because I'm not sure if I should get in contact with him or let him come to me... Or actually what to do at all... I unfortunately really do like him... Thanks for any advice, it's all appreciated... :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): Wow, that is a pickle. My advice would probably be: avoid him. I know you like him, but part of what separates us from animals is that we can use discipline to do what we know in our heads is right and avoid what we feel might be right, but is in fact wrong. You mention that you have had bad relationships before, but the only way to break that cycle is to be on the look-out for them and avoid them. If you need any more convincing, ask yourself this: how long before he's sleeping with someone else behind YOUR back?
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