A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My close friend really confuses me sometimes. When we get too close she pushes me away...when i go far, she pulls me close. Intially we used to talk a lot over phone chats etc. Now she says she doesnt like it. She used to get jealous of other people when i got close to them but now she doesnt bother. She is married but we flirted a lot and she used to call me her "Boyfriend" ( im a tomboy but i am straight). We used to hug each other, hold hands while walking. Now she says she doent like it. Now i have got emotionally very attached to her. Last night she said I shouldnt have gotten so close to her. Im really confused by her behaviour. Initially she used to fight with me if i didnt gave her much attention. Now if i treat her special she yells at me. Its like one day she wants me close and next she oushes me away.Should i stay friends with her or leave her? We have had lots of fights and now she blames me for all fights and tells me i spoilt the relation by fighting all times. If i feel bad about something and if i say it, it starts another fight. So now i dont say anything no matter how badly she hurts me.
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female
reader, Saphire_gurl  +, writes (2 January 2019):
This doesn't sound like it was ever a pleasant friendship. She got jealous of u if u got close to someone else? She fights with you if you don't give her much attention? She's also joked with you about you being her boyfriend. I believe you're straight but this may confuse your feelings. Youre not in school anymore (I don't think?). You don't have to go chasing after moody girls anymore. You can block her number. Do it today or as soon as possible and then try and forget about her before she hurts you even more.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2018): [EDIT]:
Correction:
"Your post comes across more like someone in the closet; trying to transform a platonic heterosexual-friendship into a lesbian affair."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2018): [EDIT]:
Corrections:
"She can see through you; whatever you want to call the kind of feelings or attraction you have for her."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2018): You have a very fickle friend. Partially, it's your fault. She suspects you are gay. Even if you claim you're straight.
She is a married-woman, and appearances matter. What about her husband?
Your post doesn't read like someone heterosexual; and your reaction to her rejection is more like someone infatuated with a person who doesn't share the same kind of feelings.
She enjoys your attention, and your fawning over her. She enjoys the way she can push your buttons; and make you jump when she says "jump!"
If you are straight; then behave like you are. Your post comes across more like someone in the closet; trying to transform a platonic heterosexual-relationship into a lesbian affair. She's toying with your emotions; and trying to yank you out of the closet. See can see through you, whatever you want to call the kind of feelings or attraction you have for her.
If you want it all to stop, withdraw your romantic-feelings; and stop pandering to her ambiguous manipulations. Put some distance between you, and keep it there. Can you, or are you too infatuated or obsessed with her?
Go find a new friend, and leave her alone. If you insist on subjecting yourself to this nonsense, don't complain about it.
If you haven't come to terms with your sexual-orientation; maybe you should concentrate more on who you really are, and stop projecting onto your friend. She doesn't share those kind of feelings.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 December 2018):
 I don't really see what you get out of this, except drama.
She sounds manipulative and callous. Not really good traits in someone you call a friend.
Why waste your time, energy and friendship of this person? She is toxic.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (29 December 2018):
 She sounds like a tease of the worst sort. She's happy to flirt with you but strictly on her terms.
Let me ask YOU a question: what are yo getting out of this friendship?
I think you have both outgrown this friendship and need to move on and find friends who make your lives BETTER. If someone does not enhance your life, you need to let them go, no matter how painful it is, otherwise YOU end up hurting.
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