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Should I stay and wait or just go?

Tagged as: Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 March 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 4 March 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, *aydreamer08 writes:

Hi,

So ive been wanting to go see my LDR gf who is currently living in texas, but when i told her she told me not to come. She said that she doesnt want me to waste soo much money to come and visit her cause she gunna come back to MD(where i am living) in the summer anyways. So can anyone help me out on what i should do.

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A male reader, Daydreamer08 United States +, writes (4 March 2010):

Daydreamer08 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well the thing is..my gf is the type of person who dont like to owe other ppl stuff..cause she feel like she would owe me big time if i go and spend so much money on her...so yea iono

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (2 March 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntIf you think you should go , go by all means .

Don't let her words stop you . You may know what is the real situation there.

Tell her when you will make the trip .If she is genuine, she will welcome you .If she starts giving excuses,then be wary.

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A female reader, Lexie88 Australia +, writes (2 March 2010):

Lexie88 agony auntOh, I forgot to add...if you're willing to spend the money and go, then go and see what's up. Calling and emailing is too hard...you need to see her face to face.

Talk to her first and tell her that you really want to see her and that the money doesn't matter and that you'll be coming soon. See what her reaction is.

If you must, then go, there's no use in wondering and worrying and waiting for summer. But be prepared for anything. Hopefully it's nothing and you guys are still ok.

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A female reader, Lexie88 Australia +, writes (2 March 2010):

Lexie88 agony auntAlthough she might be genuine, you should find out the real reason she doesn't want you to come.

I highly doubt that her concerned about you spending money to come and see her is making her tell you not to come.

If I was her and I wanted to see you, I would tell you that I am concerned about you spending the money to come and see me, but that I would love to see you. I wouldn't want to wait until the summer to see you, no way!

What else is going on between you two? It's so hard to keep LDR's going...you have no way of knowing what else she is up to and who else she is meeting. But I'd say if she's reluctant to allow you to visit her and if she's making excuses then something else is going on.

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A female reader, kitty8199 United States +, writes (2 March 2010):

How long have you not seen each other? I had a LDR, and we saw each other whenever possible. It may be possible she isn't so into the whole LDR and doesn't want to break up with you, but doesn't want the relationship either. I'd question any person who doesn't want to see you when you are in a relationship.

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A male reader, Boombadaboom Belgium +, writes (2 March 2010):

Boombadaboom agony auntYou should stay and wait, absence will make the heart grow fonder and once you see each other again in the summer, you'll be blissfully in love again. It would show a few wrong moves if you do go see her, it might show her a lot of good things like you miss her and you want to be with her, but in the long run it might be taking it's toll. Unless you have this unique relationship where it might turn out for the better, but with most of them, it won't. It'll be good for yourself too, you'll learn how to wait for the one you love, you'll become better at lots of things by then and you'll have so much more fun spending time with each other in the summer. Don't underestimate the advantage of summer, it brings the happiness out in people so if that's where you'll meet again after a very long time than it'll be even better than in other seasons ;) but that's just me thinking that ;)

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