A
female
age
36-40,
*tinak
writes:I need help..He dumped me once, then came back, then dumped me again, and I found out he had kissed another girl during that time. Now, he's back again,saying he made a horrible mistake, and that he realized what he was missing out on. The reasons he dumped me were because I was an extremely jealous girlfriend who didn't trust him at all, even though he never did anything to hurt me..I broke his heart a couple times,threatening to break it off with him..Anyway, this is when he ended it with me..And then we both missed each other, and rekindled a bit,only to find out that we had moved too fast. We were already having sex, and not spending time getting to know each other, because thats what we agreed to do the second time around...to build a friendship first. He ended it again, and it hurt even worse the second time, cause I didn't understand it..That's when I found out from a friend that he had been kissing some girl, and hanging out with her 2 days after he dumped me!! I was furious, and now,he is back saying that its tearing him apart, and that the kiss meant nothing to him, that he doesn't want anyone else but me, and that he loves me..This is so hard. I know my family and friends are going to disown me if I tell them I'm talking to him again..What's the right thing to do?
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female
reader, stinak +, writes (18 June 2010):
stinak is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAhh, but I don't think anyone realizes that the downfall of our relationship was because of me,I constantly treated him like shit throughout the whole year of us dating..And when he came back the first time, I think he got scared, he told me he was pretending, and that he wanted it to work, but didn't know if he could get over our past..So what is going to be different this time? I have no idea...
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 June 2010):
 Two things I want to say to you.
1. The guy is immature and can't handle a serious relationship. For him to dump you and run right to another woman is pretty low.
2. You have to learn not to be jealous and insecure with your next boyfriend, or you will choke the relationship. Relationships thrive on freedom and trust. You can't stifle a guy through jealousy and paranoia, or he'll run.
Your jealousy may have turned up this guy's weakness this time, but you can't live with this level of drama. It drains on you, your boyfriend, and your friends and family.
I would suggest dumping this guy for good, then staying SINGLE for a while to get your bearings.
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A
female
reader, cocola05 +, writes (17 June 2010):
 Definitely not!.. I've been through this before. I know I am very young but moving on after going back out with the same guy three times was thee dumbest decision I have ever made. Since I have moved on, I've been a relationship for almost a year now and I couldn't be happier. For the other guy, well, he is now dating a girl who has three kids. He is the same age as me. I'm 19. I don't know how old this chick is that he is dating, but three kids?? And he is only 19!.. But none are his, obviously. But in the end, its your decision. Do what you think is right. Oh.. and about your friends and family... THEY ARE RIGHT! I learned that the hard way.. Hope this helped!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): Absolutely NOT! Love should not be that hard especially at your age. There are a lot of great guys out there that will treat you right. Go find one of them. If you have to ask this question, the answer is NO.
P.S. If your parents have a generally decent life, (not drug addicts or whatever) listen to them. They know a lot more than you do. Trust me. If your family doesn't like him. He is never going to make you happy.
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