A
female
age
30-35,
*nonem
writes:I want to thank everyone here that adviced me in the past. I was previously anonema but forgot my password so I had to create a new account. Your words really made me take a different approach towards handling certain situations in my life. I have finished university now and I want to invest in real estate(starting with a plot of land). But the issue is when I finished from school I had enough money to purchase a land and do all the necessary documents but I was duped by my own blood brother and lost half of my money in the process. But I still have a reasonable amount of money to buy a plot and some little things before I become literally broke. But what I want to do is...use my money for masters programme which my dad would give me to start building something on the land so I can move out as soon as possible. But another issue is my dad had been complaining(lieing to me) that he's broke but by GOds grace there would be money. He even told me recently that how does one go from abundance to nothing. I do not want to believe him because he keeps giving girls money. Now he says he wants to sell the house we are living in to pay i, my sister and my step broher and sisters fees. He acually sold the house but the buyers were to pay insallmentally with a period of 6 months. he said he did not want that and they said they wanted their money back. The money he collected as part payment, he claims he used it to pay my steps fees but when i asked them they said it was a lie that his sister paid their fees. so what did he use a part payment of 100 thousand dollars to do?? women. To cut the long story short. I cannot vouch for the validity of his statement, real esate is a good investment and i want to know if i should go ahead with this plan and become broke and still lie with him and look for a job or wait till he gives me my msc fees which i am not sure of and then purchase a plot then and do the necessary thing. But land depreciates and i do not want to miss this opportunity. What do i do?(Mod note: flag should show Nigeria)
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 January 2015):
 You know, in matters of financial dealings, there'a a hard and fast parable that I'd like to share with you. I can't take credit for it, because the book "The Richest Man in Babylon" was where I learned it, which was one of the most profound books I've ever read in my life. However, the premise has personally saved me hundreds of thousands of dollars throughout the course of my life with personal and professional financial dealings.
The parable boils down to "Why trust a brickmaker about the buying and selling of jewels? Would you go to the breadmaker to inquire about the stars?"
The book then went on to say, quite directly, "He who takes advice about his savings from one who is inexperienced in such matters, will pay with his savings for proving the falsity of their opinions."
You've started learning that lesson. When it comes to buying and selling land and getting into real estate or open a business or take advice from well-meaning people, no matter how much pressure it is to honor family connections, or friendships, or whatever, you're torching your money by listening to people with zero experience in the field you're trying to get into.
You're already setting yourself up to destroy your financial life by what you're contemplating. Do you really think that buying the land or building up on it with your dad's money is all it takes, given that you are broke?? What about property taxes, assessments, fees for permits from your state and/or county? What about the law on what kind of materials or contractors can be used, and how would you even know whether or not code is being respected? You wanting to "Move out" is the worst motivation for what you're considering. You already have to HAVE an established and steady source of ongoing income before considering this.
And let's talk about this for a second here. Do you want the sum total of your life to be you waiting for a handout from Daddy? And land doesn't necessarily depreciate in value. However, the easements you either acknowledge or ignore, the future zoning plans for your town or commonality, the market and commodities futures for what's going into your area are all factors on whether or not you can make money, which I'm telling you now, DO NOT. Do you know how many people are eating their shirts right now for buying between 2004 and 2008, only to find their property go underwater forcing them to be foreclosed on and declare bankruptcy?
I remember pleading with a couple of friends of mine, who were dead set on purchasing land and self-building a house because they believed that they could save money by doing the work themselves (they were not licensed contractors or electricians) and could eventually flip the house for twice or three times what they invested into it.
Long story short, they took a bath. They lost their house, they lost their life savings (the inheritance that his wife was given by her father when he died that could have bought two better houses than their project ended up sucking out of them), all because they were given advice by a pastor who didn't know anything about how real estate or homebuilding worked, who himself was just parroting what another pastor promised. Again, advice from someone not in the field of what they were looking at sunk them. They are now broke, living in a one bedroom apartment with three kids (crowded!), driving a dying car they have had for 15 years.
Stop thinking about the land, which is a money-sucking liability and not an asset. Get employment first. Then buy a modest place to live to start if you want out of your home. Then, work with a lawyer and reputable contractor (NOT YOUR BROTHER OR ANYONE ELSE who is giving you worthless advice, and there will be a LOT of people who do! I say that from lots of experience and lots of time with lawyers of my own) to find out the entire cost of a project you're interested in. Don't spend a PENNY until you count the cost and don't ever let someone else like your brother start siphoning money from you "as you go along", which is stupidity incarnate. Do your own due diligence. YOUR OWN. Do not cut corners like it sounds like you still want to do.
Why are you relying on your father anyways, who sucked all the wealth from your mom and who you call "Deceiver"? For someone who self-styles himself as "Stoneheart", you are pushed around a little too much for that. Separate the facts from fiction, buddy. You're still gullible.
A
female
reader, anonem +, writes (23 January 2015):
anonem is verified as being by the original poster of the question sorry, I meant to say appreciate. In the next two years this area I intend buying a land would become very developed and expensive and the value of the acual purchase would even multiply before the year runs out. This has always been my dream. I do not want to become a home owner at 40.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (23 January 2015):
 You should definitely pass on purchasing any land that depreciates, good real estate ALWAYS increases in value. Get your career going first.
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow  +, writes (23 January 2015):
 I'll keep it short and sweet: rely on yourself with this sort of thing. When moving out, you really don't want to have to be dependent on anyone.If you can wait long enough to be able to do it on your own, I'd strongly advise it. Unless it's an emergency, I wouldn't suggest accepting a loan from your dad; you don't want to be in debt with family.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 January 2015):
 How about finding JOB as your FIRST priority, then a SMALL apartment you CAN afford and SAVE up for the plot of land you want. IF you have to wait around for you r dad to "give" you money, you might wait till the cows get home.
Not sure how your brother scammed you, but it sounds like an issue I would bring to a lawyer.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (23 January 2015):
 I would never advise someone to put themselves in a situation in which they are dependent on someone else, or owe someone else. Although your dad would most likely not TELL you with words that you owe him money, it would probably come out in some way. Either if he needs money or a favor. I say this because he doesn't seem like a very trust worthy or stable person who is addicted to poor decision making and lies.
You've done well to have money saved up. Your father has done his share with whatever money he's spent during your childhood. My opinion is that you spend your money on a wise investment to your future, and count on yourself and no one else. Of he chooses to gift you money afterward, that will then be your position to accept. But waiting and halting your future tin reliance that someone will give you money does not seen wise.
~Sy
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