A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Am considering sleeping with my boss. He is married with a family, and from the outside all seems fairly happy and normal, I am single and have not been in a relationship for a while (so had been feeling rather lonely). I've known him for over 6 years and we are work friends, but have never really communicated outside the work place. I am attracted to him but have never flirted with him, and he had never shown any sign that he was interested in me either. Then one night (out of the blue) he called me and asked if I wanted to have sex with him. I said no, due to obvious reasons. It was left at that until a few weeks later he phoned again and asked me if I was interested in meeting up. I said I couldn't, perhaps less convincing this time, and he pushed the converastion further saying what he wanted to do with me. I felt confused and he said that if I changed my mind to call him. A few days later I was alone in the office with him and decided to confront him. I asked what he wanted from me as I really didn't understand, he said I was attractive and intelligent and he wanted to sleep with me. He then made it clear that it would just be a "work fling" and that he couldn't offer me anything more than that - he then asked me once more if I was interested. I said I was, but I was also conflicted. He said that when it's "convenient" he will call me and we can meet somewhere - now I am waiting for the call, sometimes in fear and sometimes in anticipation. If he calls should I say I've changed my mind or just take a chance and meet him (I do want him but I know it's wrong). I really don't know what to do anymore, and the worst part is that either way I still have to see him everyday and pretend that all is okay!
View related questions:
flirt, my boss Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): i am really hoping that you have decided that your life is worth a bit more than being a mere fuck to your boss. seems like your boss has no respect for you thinking that a few pumpings from him on the side is all you are worth. whatever gave him this idea. i think you need to re look at the image you are potraying - is it, i am available, i will do it with anyone whether married or not. please re look at your self and the behaviour you are displaying. seems like your boss got the go ahead from you to indulge with you??? don't know but worth a shot at examining your morals and come on signs. when you go to work and feel pressurised to open your legs to your boss it should tell you something is wrong. have you thought of the consequences of being a mere f*ck to a married man?? please keep your head held high. bosses can get whatever they want....f*cking an employee, in your case, may not be the case.
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (18 January 2010):
 I think you know the answer to this: NO!!!!
You know it's wrong to destroy a family like that.
If your boss is pressuring you for sex, then you're being sexually harrassed and I think you should get some good legal advice. He doesn't deserve to be supervising employees.
This is another example of choosing between what is right, and what is easy. You know the right thing to do.
...............................
A
male
reader, Honest Answer  +, writes (17 January 2010):
 No. Never.
Jeff
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): Thanks for all your advice. I will not be sleeping with him - guess I just needed to hear someone else say it. I know it was wrong to even consider, but I suppose we all have a moment of weakness at times.
Have thought about it and decided to take some time off - I need a break and time to clear my head without the obvious distractions. Too much has been going on recently and I need to focus on myself and get my life back on track.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 January 2010):
Look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you want to be nothing to a married man who has a family, or whether you'd rather be someone really special to a guy who truly loves you. I think you'll find your answer. You need to get a new focus on your life, because I think you're feeling so down with yourself at the moment that you're considering taking the only 'affection' that someone is offering. Forget this man, he's really going to leave you hurt and feeling pretty worthless. Also, if he continues to harass you, tell you'll report him. but don't lower yourself to meeting with a man who doesn't care about you at all.
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (17 January 2010):
 So, basically you are asking:
"Should I be an always on-call unpaid hooker for my boss who can have me fired if things get inconvenient for him, but I put my life on hold for him and risk being known as a cheap home-wrecking slut to everyone I know and work with."
Gee, that is a hard one.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): If you have known him for 6 years it is hardly sexual harassment, and why on earth do people rush to litigation at the slightest?
If you want him, go for it, but for goodness sake be VERY discreet; don't get found out and still be professional at work.
His family is not at risk because this is just a booty call for both of you - always regard it as such and never assume it to be anything more and you will be OK.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): Dear,i can understand how you feel,this is all a body temptation but i can bet you,you will regret it soon,and only you will regret it,do dear its beter to protect your intergrity than screw yourself.
Do not sleep with him.This is a best answer.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (17 January 2010):
 Uh oh, I think the best thing to do would be to phone Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission (HREOC, they also have a website with heaps of information, but I find actually talking to somebody about my problems helps. They should be able to give you some advise on how to deal with this problem, without you having to risk your job or reputation (Australia still very misongenistic in many ways). GOod luck
...............................
|
