A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everybody. I would like you're opinion... I have been sort of dating a guy, for the past 3 months, let's call him A. We did have sex but we were just friends that were in love. About a week ago we had a huge argument about me being so moody so we decided to be just friends. Now I'm wondering, he lives in a different town, I'm going there for the weekend. He knows I'm a shy person. So if we do happen to have sex again, (guy's opinion) what would you think? He knows I'm not a slut but would it maybe make him doubt it? Also i enjoy having sex with him. And i know that i won't have sex again untill i actually date again. And that won't happen soon. I'm not the dating type of person, scared of getting hurt.. So guys what would you think? Should i or should i not? If things do go into that direction?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): Different anon than previous gender-neutral anon despite stylistic similarities. "So if we do happen to have sex again, (guy's opinion) what would you think?"I would think that you're an easy lay, but then I already think that considering you hopped into bed with a virtual stranger. "He knows I'm not a slut but would it maybe make him doubt it?"He knows you are a slut and it would definitely confirm it. Why do you think he invited you for the weekend?"Also i enjoy having sex with him."Also he enjoys inserting his dick into the nearest available random semi-anonymous va-jay-jay; if she makes free house calls then all the better. "And i know that i won't have sex again untill i actually date again."And he knows he doesn't have to date to actually have sex with you again. "And that won't happen soon."And that will never happen with you. "I'm not the dating type of person, scared of getting hurt."He's not the dating type of person, content with getting laid. "So guys what would you think?"You're a slut. Have va-jay-jay, will travel. "Should i or should i not?"A horny amoral guy would say you should, a concerned old-fashioned male human being would say you shouldn't, never should have and never should again. "If things do go into that direction?"What other direction do you expect things to go? Do you really think he's expecting you to NOT put out for him?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2012): "We did have sex but we were just friends that were in love. "Correction: you're friends with benefits. I have sex with my partner, who happens to be my best friend. We're in love, but we are also in a relationship. You two were not and are not a couple. If you can't decide what you are after 3 months and sex, guess where that leaves you? A friend's with benefits situation."About a week ago we had a huge argument about me being so moody so we decided to be just friends."Do tell, who decided to be 'just friends'? My bet is it's the guy, not you. If you being moody will make the guy jump ship, you know how important you are to him. If he can't work on or tolerate occasional moodiness, you know where you stand. At the bottom."And i know that i won't have sex again untill i actually date again. "Are you sure about that? You already had sex with him and you two were not dating. You're not dating him now, but you're debating if you should have sex with him. You're the one that is driving and going up there to see him, staying at his place. What do you think will happen? You think you'll sit there, chat and knit some mittens? Come on! If you truly believed and meant that you won't have sex until you're dating a man, you wouldn't be here asking this question."I'm not the dating type of person, scared of getting hurt"If you're too scared of getting hurt, then enjoy being someone's booty call because that is what he will see you as. If you're OK being a booty call and getting your itch scared from time to time as you enjoy having sex with him, then by all means, go for it. If you want more than FWB, then you'll get the thing that you fear - 'getting hurt'. And you'll be hurting over a FWB situation and not even a real relationship.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (11 November 2012):
 Yep. Not to be blunt, but you were friends with benefits.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 November 2012):
 After 3 months he calls you a friend, you should cut your losses and move on. Whether one will consider you a slut it is dependent on the guy. You can enjoy sex but if the rest of the day you feel crappy and empty it's not worth it. There are many guys who can satisfy you and who lives closer to you, some of them even want to have relationships too. You are paying too much to travel to this guy for something that's in great supply.
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (11 November 2012):
 Ok well you were never an official couple, just friends who had sex. So if you go there and do end up having sex I don't see how he would suddenly think you are a slut, this has been the same thing your entire relationship. Now when you say after your moodiness you both decided to be just friends I assume that means literally only friends and no sex (since you were just friends all along) so this may not even come up and be an issue. But if it does it will be no different than your relationship was already so you won't be considered a slut if he hasn't thought it before. What I would say is he may fear sex with you after both deciding not to may be a bad idea and cause you to get more attached and moody again. Thinking of you as a slut I can't see happening. So should you have sex with him? If you have no intention of dating him, you know you won't date, it won't hurt you to have sex with him and there be nothing more to it (completely casual no strings attached sex) then there's no harm. You are both adults, you have been with him before so go for it. If you are harboring feelings for him, think that the sex will mean something more than just one night of sex, if you wish he would want to be with you and hope sex will change his mind- DO NOT have sex with him. You will regret it because nothing will come from it.
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