A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Should i send this actor a message on facebook before i send a friend request ?. He isn't a very well known actor. We used to email each other a lot, from our email addresses, not on facebook, as his email is on his website. I also added his sister on facebook once, and we wrote to each other quite a lot. I have my own fan page for him too, and his sister told me that he holds me in high regard, and appreciates what i do on his fan page. And she said he was flattered that there was a fan page for him. They have both sent long emails to me in the past, and i have sent long emails to them.He has only recently joined facebook. One of my friends, who is also a fan, said she has tried to add him though, but he hasn't added her yet, so she isn't sure if he wants to add her or not. They have never spoken to each other, so he wont know that she is a fan of his.I've noticed that he has people that he knows on there, as some of them studied at the same place that he did, so i'm not sure if he is just adding people that he knows personally on there. I'd like to send him a message before i send a friend request, just incase he doesnt want to add fans on there. Do you think i should ask him if its ok if i send him a friend request, and say that i understand if he doesn't want to add me, as some people like to keep their pages personal ?. I also want to tell him about some of his work that i have seen recently. How can i ask him, in a polite way of course ?. He seems like a very kind, down to earth person, so i'm sure he will be polite even if he says he wont add me.I've noticed he has a personal photo of himself as his profile picture, from when he was a child, so he could have a lot of personal photos on there that he might not want fans to see. I know you can hide photos from certain people though if you change your settings. His sister once put up some personal photos of him, and she told me he asked her to remove them, as some fans could be obsessive. After she said that, that was when she said that he held me in high regard.I have never met him personally though, as i live in England and he is American, and he hasn't been over here recently. He does a lot of signings in America ( people might know him more than people do here ). We have conventions here too, and he told me he would like to go to one here someday, so i'd probably end up meeting him if he was at one of those. He told me he would let me know if he si ever invited to one here.His sister also didn't know whether to add me and other fans of her brother at first because another fan had sent her a lot of messages on the first day that she added her, so she removed her as she thought she was obsessive. I told her that not all fans are like that, and it was a shame if one person stopped her from adding other people, and she told me that my message really helped and , because of my message, she decided to add other fans, and she thanked me.I know it might be possible for me to send him messages on there, even if i cant send him a friend request. Thanks everyone.
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male
reader, GoodDog +, writes (7 August 2011):
 As you have already made some form of contact with him, I would say it's worth a try. If you explain to him who you are (about your website and previous e-mails, etc) then he might just be okay with you being on his FB.
Don't get your hopes up too soon though, as writing an e-mail to a fan to adding them on a more personal thing like FB might not be what he wants. You seem a sensible person though, so I guess you already know this!
Good luck with it anyway and I hope it works out for you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2011): If your intentions are just to be a friend I'd send a brief message and add a friends request. If you are actually more than a fan yourself you need to look at your motives. Are you a little besotted yourself. Try to be a 'friend' and not much more - it is unlikely he wants to enter into much contact but you never know.
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