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female
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anonymous
writes: My ex and i were with each other for almost 4 years and a year of no contact after the break up..noone cheated..i think we did really love each other..it was petty stuff that i think we can get over from just learning from mistakes etc..i know what i would do differently and told him this. I told him i would rather be with him than some other guy. We went a year with no contact and i was strong but i decided to contact him because i knew i still loved him. We have been talking for months and from knowing him i know he isn't the type where he would jump back quickly into things. He is in his 30's and i am in my mid twenties.I did ask him very direct questions and made direct comments of how maybe he is just trying to be this "nice guy" and doesn't want to say that he just doesn't want me. And he said that isn't exactly right b/c if it was about me then he would be seeing someone already or looking.We have been having nice conversations although its mostly me calling at this point and in terms of us seeing each other he said let him get his head together. So i figured I should give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe eventually he will come around. I am trying to date in the meantime.His birthday is coming up soon and i know i won't see him for it but i was debating about maybe sending him some pictures through e-mail maybe a week or two prior. Some pictures of him and i that i have scanned which he never saw, pictures of him, a recent pic or two of me. I just figured maybe its something sweet to do and something that could bring back positive memories and its something simple to show i really care. Is this a horrible idea?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2010): it certainly cannot hurt but I am thinking he is not interested in getting back together . If a guy cares he would move mountains to work it out. He sounds comfortable with the way things are currently.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2010): not if he's with someone
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