A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend who i have a relationship with and who i also have sex with on occasions.while i am very fond of sex he is always making a joke about it to me saying things like,all i want him for is sex,and all i want is sex. well none of this is true as i have explained to him many times.We don't have sex everytime we see each otherhe just likes to cuddle and be scratched sometimes and i love doing it for him.So why does he keep saying all i want is sex and he has to concentrate on keeping his erection so he doesnot disappoint me. he is 64 and i am 60 i have never had a problem with this and i have never complained about anything. but he seem to be bothered by it, what seem to start out as ajoke now seems to be said by him everytime we speak. So i told him i didn't like him saying it all the time and if he wished to keep complaining about me he should just walk away and forget me. Have i over reacted to this or not but i was really finding it getting to me ,i am not a sexual devient just a normal woman who enjoyes sex sometimes.I wonder if he feel a little embarressed by stuff as he loves just to be cuddled but i love that too i have told him i don't need sex everytime we see each other.i just wish he would stop saying all i want is sex it is very upsetting to me and he is pushing me away from him with this attituide he has about me which is not true.Help please. have i done the wrong thing by telling him to walk away if he doesn't like what he sees. Thanks
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 Considering the age involved, it could be several things.
For one, attitude. Could it be that he is still from an age where women were not really supposed to want it? Simply that he is to old-fashioned to deal with a sexually active woman?
It could also be simpler. As you are most likely aware by now, men can't fake it if things don't go right. Women can just use lube if their erection does not happen and orgasms can be faked easily. Apparently... not that I would know, no woman ever needed to fake it with me... anyway.
Maybe he just can't deal with the pressure.
And maybe he is just stuck in what he thinks is a funny joke and you don't.
And last, are you two perhaps stuck in your own way? I could imagine that at your age you got a pretty defined view about what you want and might be to set in your ways to change. Maybe for him the sex isn't that important anymore and he feels he has to force himself in order to keep you satisfied. And that in itself might just be a sign of deeper unspoken feelings that the two of you are not matching up. Sometimes two people just want different things at a point in there life.
Are there other things you, small things that together can act like sand in a mechanism? That the sex thing is just the visible sign of deeper troubles?
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