A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A few years back I worked closely with a girl for a couple of months and developed feelings for her. I never acted on them, as I had dated her friend previously and also happened to be her direct superior and thought making a move would be inappropriate. She ended up going to school far away, but we kept in touch through emails and text messages. Our contact waned, and I hadn't conversed with her for a few months when I sent her an email to see how she was doing and learned that she was going to be moving to my city to start a Masters degree.A couple of weeks back, she suggested that we go out for drinks when we were both around. Tomorrow I will be in her area, and asked her to join me for a drink at a cool place near her new apartment. She accepted, so now we will be seeing each other for the first time in years. I want to know if this could possibly be seen as a date, or if she just wants to catch up with an old friend. I never could read her very well, though there were times when I thought I got the vibe that she may have had feelings for me too. Her messages to me are playful. I hesitate to say flirty, as I'm terrible at identifying that. I'm not going to approach this as a date, though I might try to lightly flirt with her to gauge her interests. Are there any signs I should be looking for that might indicate what type of an engagement she might see this as? Sorry, I'm just a little nervous as I've also been out of the dating game for a while.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2013): Hey, OP here. So we went out for drinks and some food and had a great time. Conversation was non-stop and enjoyable, though no surprise there as we always got on really well. We ended the night with a hug (was definitely not going to presume for a kiss) and as we said our goodbyes it sounded like she suggested going for dinner some time, but traffic drowned her out. Oh well. She sent me a text soon after saying she enjoyed catching up and to let her know when I was around again. I say yes, of course. Now I need to figure out when to ask her out again and if its a good idea to ask her in a way that makes it seem more like I want to date.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 September 2013):
 agree assume it's just two friends catching up but put some feelers out and ask her if she wants to get together again soon...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 September 2013):
 I would take this as a "catching up" meeting - NOT a date.
Now if you two hit it off, maybe you can ASK her out on a date.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (9 September 2013):
 I think you should always play it safe and assume its just two people catching up. If you get on well ask her out again - to dinner maybe that is definitely a date!
You can tell if it is going well by her eye contact, does she smile a lot? Laugh at your jokes? Sit close to you? Does she touch you affectionately?
Just take your time, if she just becomes a friend then is that so bad? You can never have too many friends!
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