A
male
age
36-40,
*txi
writes: Ok, me and this girl have known each other for 8 years online. We fell in mutual love just over a year ago and found out 8 months ago, we had been dating since.I recently visited the city she lives in to work, however my VISA runs out in a week and we split just recently.The reason we split is basically because we were both worried about the amount of time we had left together and we had built up the relationship to be something big. So we ended up both doing what we thought the other person wanted. She became distant because the stress of that and university was too much, I became worried and it all got worse.Basically we stopped enjoying time together because we were doing what we thought we should be doing rather than what felt right and what we wanted.Now we still had a good time, and we had really close moments (things were great in the bedroom as well). But just a week ago she broke it off, she did say though that the time we spent apart beforehand did make her sad (she said that she needed some space, I know why now).The thing is, now that I know what went wrong I really think it can work. We both had a great time when we forgot about all the stressful stuff. But I don't know if it's too late, should I ask to see her before I leave? If so how should I act?I really want to be with her, should I just have fun with her and talk like I wanted? Will she even be able to open up to me again to enable us to be close? I imagine that she's going to be on her guard, so I think my best bet is to just relax and hope that it enables her to relax as well. I was thinking that I should just meet her for a walk, anything else would put her off.Does anyone have any advice please?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Itxi +, writes (4 October 2010):
Itxi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, believe me I've had much worse.
Also, the long-term aspect of it really isn't a problem, we've spoken about it a lot.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): You have a lot more stress ahead of you... a distance relationship.... immigration... children(?)... etc etc.
Think you can survive that? One test of a relationship is how you handle the stress...
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