A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know whether I should speak up or let it go. So me and my boyfriend now (fiance) have been together since we were 16 years old. We have been living together since 21 years old we are now 32. Last year he decided to incorporate sex toys into our sex life which I was open and actually enjoy. Now we have our sex box which I thought we only use when we had sex. I recently found one of his toys out of the box hidden in a shirt wear we but our blankets. Now I understand his not cheating but I do feel bothered because in my head I'm thinking what is he masturbating to ? (maybe I'm overthinking) Why doesn't he just initiate sex with me ? ( yeah I work mornings and he works evening) I feel like I'm always the one initiating sex but he never rejects me. I just thought we were doing so well with each other. I didn't expect to find it out of the box. I feel like I'm not satisfying his needs. I'm I overthinking ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2024): One of you should change your job or your hours of work.
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (6 March 2024):
 It difficult to say why the toy was out of the box, he could of been masturbating with it, or he might not have been. But if he was its not really that bad of a thing, you still have a good sex life don't you.
I think that if it bothers you this much then communication is the best option here, talk to him, tell him how your feeling and that you feel like he is not satisfying your needs.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 March 2024):
 You still have a good sex life, right?
" I feel like I'm always the one initiating sex but he never rejects me. I just thought we were doing so well with each other. "
Him masturbating without you isn't him cheating or not wanting you. He probably masturbated without you before the toys too, you just didn't see any "proof" of it.
You could talk to him, tell him :"I feel like I'm not satisfying his needs." Take it from there.
But you do not OWN his sexuality and when he feels horny. It's not all about you. Maybe he wants a quick release, you are not home so he does his thing. Isn't that better than looking for someone else to find release with?
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