A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My best friend and I are quite close and I think he feels like I'm the closest one to him that he can trust. The thing is, although I put our friendship first because he means the world to me, I think I still have feelings for him.We dated briefly last year and after a rocky stage we're close again and I'm really happy but I'm not sure whether to tell him or not. I'm not craving a relationship but I've had a bit of a scare recently and if he got a girlfriend I don't know what I would do.He said a while ago that he didn't have feelings for me anymore, to my face, but things have seemed different recently.I'm just scared that if I tell him he wont be my friend anymore... but he's my rock and my best friend so I don't want to lose him.What do I do? If I do tell him, then where, when and how?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): Thanks! this has helped a lot! Do any of you have any suggestions where, when and how to tell him?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): Tell him. You have the advantage, being female. Women will nearly always put the friendship first and hide their feelings because they don't want to risk it - when what could be better than being in love with your best friend?
Sadly, if a guy develops and declares feelings for his female best friend, she will nearly always freak out, back off hugely and she ends up breaking the friendship. Whereas if a girls develops and declares feelings for her male best friend, if he doesn't feel the same, he doesn't tend to treat her or the friendship very differently.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 November 2011):
I think perhaps this is something you just have to try. I know you two tried it before and it didn't work out, but I also think that if you don't tell him how you feel and see how it works out, you'll regret it.
The one thing I will say is that it might be best for you to take this last decision as a 'take it or leave it'. Whilst I think you need to take the chance, I also think that given what he has said, it's likely it won't work out.
One thing I do know, though, is that it's nearly always best to try. I would say tell him this final time and see what he says.
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