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Should I revamp his ex-fiance's engagement ring?

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Question - (26 July 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 27 July 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting engaged for the past few months and he has a simply gorgeous ring that his ex fiancee wore about 5 years ago. He says he wants to sell it and buy me a new ring but I really do love this ring. I'm considering suggesting that he just alter it somewhat but worried that it will bother me that it was his ex's ring. Any suggestions?

View related questions: engaged, fiance, his ex

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (27 July 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntLet him sell it and buy a new one. However much you like it, that ring has got to have memories attached to it that you don't want to bring up too regularly.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010):

Agree- if you want it "revamped" let a jeweler melt it down and reset the stones, and add to it. But the process has to be sufficient for him to NOT connect the ex with that ring.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (26 July 2010):

Let him pick a new one. If you don't, ever time he looks at that ring, he'll just have an unhappy memory come straight back to haunt him. And every time he gets unhappy about it, you'll get unhappy. Get a new ring, just for you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (26 July 2010):

Honeypie agony aunt

Honestly, I would let him sell it and buy you a new. Let him pick one out JUST for you.

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