A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with someone for almost 2 years now. Her ex has always been a problem in our relationship. I want her to remain friends, but most of the experience I have had with their relationship is behind my back and inappropriate. I have tried to overcome this but I am begining to get depressed about their relationship. I said if you can't be honest with me about it then it may not be right. We are engaged and I don't know what to do. It really hurts and nothing seems to be working. Should I continue being nice about it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): you say on your post inappropriate, what makes you say that, is it things that they have done together as a couple and you have stood by and watched or is it that they still maintain a strong bond. if its the strong bond that they maintain cant you talk to her about this and tell her that you find this unhelpful to your relationship and that although you know that they will always be friends that they should talk with you in the same room. if on the other hand you have found them sneaking around behind your back then i feel that you need to confront them with the evidence that you have, ask her to seriously think about what she is about to loose. there are no guaranteees that she will come back to you and if she is found out to be the liar that you think, she will run with the dog with her tail between her legs, but that is the price, you have to pay and believe me its not a high, as you dont need someone like that stuck around your neck as a married couple you need to be free not tied down by doubts so ask
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 What the heck are you doing?
No, do NOT continue to be nice about this. THis was not soemthing to ever be nice about.
Why the hell would you want your FIANCE (FUTURE WIFE) to be friends with an ex who she is sneaking around with BEHIND YOUR BACK?
Did breaking up with her never occur to you?
Red flag. Walk away from this. You did not put your foot down when it was time, and no telling what they plan to do to you in the future.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Its simple. Let them be freinds. If your worried that she is with him and you, why wuld she be marrying u? They are probably onli mates, so dnt worry. U can ask her if they are anythin mre, but the answer will be bno because she loves you. Learn to trust your fiance more, after all, whats a relationship without trust?
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