A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm wondering if you could give me some advice. As we speak my bf of nearly 5 years is shopping for an engagement ring (he's with my best friend. she told me). The thing is i'm not sure if i want to get engaged at this point in my life. We've been engaged before n he broke my heart so i called it off, that was 8 months ago. I do love him n see myself spending the rest of my life with him i just don't want to set myself up for getting hurt again.Could he have changed his ways so quickly? He told his ex he was free n single n wanted to be with her. could he have decided that i really am the one he wants to be with?what do i do? do i call him now n say i know what he's doing but i'm not ready for that? Or do i leave it, say yes at that crucial time n hope for the best? I'm so confused. Part of me wants to believe that he's changed n he's ready to be with me. The other part wonders if i say yes will he think he's got away with what he's done n hurt me all over again?thanx XXX
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Miss Potter +, writes (18 December 2008):
 Hello there, if your boyfriend is smart, he will get a receipt for the ring, they usually allow some time to return the ring in case it works out. So I dont think you should be worrying about the ring itself, pretend that you dont know about it. Meanwhile you have some time to think about your relationship, your feelings for this man and well if it comes to him asking you the big question again, if you are not ready to answer it you have the right to tell him so, that he needs to wait.
People do change especially when they experience some strong emotions, you had some troublesome time a while ago and maybe that made him realise how much you mean to him. Maybe he hasnt changed, who knows... One thing I can tell you is that men, and I am not talking about boys, I mean grown up men realise that marriage is a big step, its a commitment that might last for the rest of their life. If your boyfriend is mature, he knows that too, so if he is shopping for a ring, he wants that super big commitment with you.
If you dont think you are ready for this this is your life, and no ring will hold you back from saying no.
Good luck
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