A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Bear with me, this is the short version...The last two months I have been "dating" this girl. She recently got out of a year marriage, and when they finally split, we instantly hooked up. During her birthday part this past summer that was at my house, we ended up sleeping together while they were still married. It was a one time thing and we remained very close friends for a couple months afterward. It was the most intense, passionate sex either of us had ever had that one night, so our friendship was full of tension, although we did behave. They had been having problems for months and finally in August, they split. From that point, we spent every single day together for 3 weeks straight with no breaks, we slept together almost every one of those days, but we also hung out, went on dates, etc. I knew from the beginning she wouldn't want to be in a relationship anytime soon, but I still began to fall in love with her. Several times during intimate moments, she would cry and tell me how she has never felt so attracted and connected to anyone before. Her actions and feelings contradicted what she constantly told me ( not wanting anything serious). We tried to stop our sexual relationship to save our friendship and a possible relationship in the future, but it never worked. She asked me about a week ago, whether if she slept with someone else and decided she wanted me to be her girlfriend, would I take her back? Now out of nowhere she is being cold to me, denies everything, blah blah. We decided to be just friends again, because I was tired of her telling me that she wanted to see other people when I was clearly falling for her. But I told her that if she wanted to be my friend to just be respectful around me for awhile. The very next night at this party, she brings a new girl and completely ignores me. I got really upset because I felt she was flaunting it when we had established boundaries, like she was proving a point. Now I feel bad for being upset and rude to her, but I am also completely heartbroken and felt like she didn't care enough to be aware of my feelings. Plus the night before, she wanted to come over at 3am for you know what. I just don't know what to do. Should I leave her alone, not talk to her? I miss her so much already and it's killing me.I feel like this whole situation was wrong timing, because we had something really special and she was very good to me and made me happy and it felt very much LIKE a relationship. She got jealous, etc. But the thought that she can walk away so easily now and not have it bother her, also leads me to believe it was all an act. How would you guys feel? Should I really just let go? I feel like I want to die right now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told her when we started that I wasn't going to be her rebound and she was very clear that I wasn't. Obviously I feel that way now, but she led me to believe she had feelings for me, so it never felt that way. Saying stuff like "I'm trying for this just to be casual, but I can't help how I feel about you." I know she is just at a confusing point in her life, but if she doesn't want to lose my friendship, she shouldn't be such a jerk. She knew what she was getting into and we had several talks about it. Now she just wants me to be here and wait while she does whatever she wants and I'm not going to be that person.
A
male
reader, Cccc  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 Sounds like a rebound to me :( !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): I think she is in a very confusing time in her life right now. she just got out of a relationship and she obviously was having strong feelings for you. It sounds like those feelings scared her because she probably doesn't want another long term relationship. At least not right now.l Don't let her dangle you around. You need to tell her "you either want to be with me or you don't" and if she wants to be single and have fun you have to let her do that. But, you can go out to and try to meet other people. Make sure to not let her walk all over you and expect you to just sit around and wait for her. Don't put so much pressure on her it is probably making her very confused.
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