A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Not a relationship question but advice please, right I have been smoking weed for about 10 years now and I still love it, I don't like alcohol as much for many reasons.Now my life is quite boring as I go to work, go home get high, go to a friends house get high and then go home and play video games of which I am getting bored of now.I don't go out drinking or socialize much with new crowds as A I don't enjoy it much and also I do find some people bore me and I'm not interested. I have a small hand of friends I actually want to hang out with which I'm happy with.I really enjoy weed and feel it helps me through the dull times and helps with any depression. (even though it might be a cause of deperession), anyway I feel my live is going nowhere and I have no aims in life, nor will I truly be happy in life. I am currently going the gym but deep down feel what's the point, as I will loose a stone then give up. But I have no other hobbies. My question is, is it worth giving up somethin I love (weed) in the hope I can better myself and find purpose in life, which will be hard as I'm bored a lot or just keep smoking weed and admit depression is the cause of this. Thank you p.s. I know its sad but if I won the lottery I would happily smoke it always without worry.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (8 July 2013):
 NOTE your addiction to weed is psychological totally.
going cold turkey will not hurt you physically (unlike alcohol withdrawal that can kill you if not done properly) and therefore you can just stop cold turkey (no weaning) and move forward without fear of harm.
I would strongly recommend you see a professional mental health worker to discuss what medications are available for you to combat the depression.
I do not think that the marijuana makes the depression worse or that it's the cause. I find pot actually rather helpful for anxiety and pain and can easily see a medical use for it.
BUT if you would rather stay home and get high than go out and be social then it's impeding your life and should be done away with.
Seems to me you are an all or nothing kind of personality so that you will not cope with "occasional use" or just weekend use... I would rather see you just walk away from it totally at your age.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2013): Good that you reach out for some advice.You really can change your life and find new things that challenge you. First you need to deal with the 'weed'that dulls you and slows you down, you'll never have the zest for life while you 'escape'life through weed, but you know this and don't need me to preach however I will tell you a little true story.Last year my partner was faced with the symbolic 'fork in the road senario' life or death, he was given 3 months to live, Stop drinking alcohol now! or bleed to death internally.( So I know how hard it is to give an addiction up )he had drank whisky for 30 years EVERYDAY AM TO PM.To get to the point so this is not long, he felt/and said that life was dull and boring and how could he live without his escape WHISKY.Today he is alcohol free, smoke free, gaining an healthy appetiet,liver function as normal as can be expected,home fitness training and now he is ALIVE AND AWAKE he has brought to life a long forgotton dream.Sailing! We both took a training course and got our Skippers licence,masters next.He saved the drink and smoke money and bought an old boat, repaired it,we set sail and then plan the Azores. He has no time to be bored but does regret not WAKING UP SOONER when he was younger to enjoy life.It is the alcohol, the weed, that makes people boring,life is not boring, understand this and fill your life with excitment and challenges. Please get help and CHOOSE life,I know that to enjoy life you must be awake, Recognize your dreams and wake them up, make them happen.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013): I would get some counseling. Only because I know people who have stopped weed after very long term use, sometimes its not a huge problem, but sometime withdrawal is a nightmare (ie some people can get horrible anxiety and panic attacks...also if they dont know withdrawal is causing it they will just smoke to deal with it...) Maybe you dont need it, but the people I know who stopped successfully used a counselor to coach them through the process so they knew what to expect and had tools to help themselves. I stopped weed a long time ago, and I didnt even think i was addicted, I only smoked a tiny bit to deal with horrible migraines i had that didnt respond to anything else. when my migraines got better, I stopped, and had awful anxiety and panic. But im so happy I did, Ill still relax with a glass of wine sometimes but I'm more functional, even though pot made me very creative. Some tools that helped me were taking Valerian herbal extract at night when i was too wound up, it gives you a sleepy and slightly euphoric feeling, calms the central nervous system, and is all natural and healthy.Meditating and trying to open my mind to spiritual things gave me an amazing perspective that changed my life. I was never into that stuff, but i have to say; Meditating or prayer can give your brain this boost, and almost have an entheogenic (pot is an entheogenic drug) effect as well. Ive started to see auras and energy and I feel like now I can open my mind in the same way that pot opens the mind, but without the side effects. I dont see anything wrong with weed in itself, I know ppl that only smoke on holidays, vacation, etc, but when its a habit, esp. daily, it will wear you down and make you so tired!GOOD LUCK!!!!! 3 3 3
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013): I'm not going to be a prude and preach about substance abuse; but for crying out loud. Read your own post and make a decision.
It isn't that you love "weed" so much. You're addicted to it.
It's a major past time, and it's causing you to lack ambition. You have no self-motivation or goals. It's starting to have a negative effect on you. If you didn't think it was, you wouldn't have written to seek advice.
Put it down for awhile, go through withdrawal, clean yourself up, and get a clearer view on life. You might venture to do something important. Do you have a degree? Do you have a good job? A girlfriend or boyfriend?
Do people tell you that you ramble on? Has anyone ever told you your clothes reeked of a weird smell? Does your closet or whole house reek with the smell of marijuana? Are your eyes always red, and do you forget what you're talking about in the middle of a sentence?
If you can answer at least one of these questions; then you need to go to rehab. More people notice than you may think.
You use the drug to dull your senses; so you don't have to reflect on the fact that your life isn't going anywhere.
You're avoiding introspection; it might reveal too much truth about yourself.
You're young. Someday you're going to wake up, and realize you've accomplished nothing; and feel you wasted your youth.
Quit now, clear your head, and read your post in a couple of months. When the haze lifts; you may decide to do something to improve your life, and make it more interesting.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013): Of course weed is causing you to be depressed and feeling like you cant be bothered with anything. So many of my friends now in their thirties and forties are just lay abouts now because they have smoked this sinxe they were young. In fact half of them have been in and out of the mental hospitals because of this. Get a grip and stay away from others smoking weed and save your money for holidays, pass your test get a nice car find a decent girlfriend. Basically change your life around.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (6 July 2013):
 Hey bud (hah?),
Reefer can be really great, put you on a different plane, it can be used as creative enhancement or even as an aid towards ridding yourself of depression.
However, there comes a time when it's no longer being used productively, or recreationally even, and it's just a crutch. It starts to hold you back from moving forward. You're using the reefer to avoid facing (or at least really working on) your problems or yourself, not to help fix them at all. So yeah, I think that until you can find happiness in your life without the reefer, you should put down the pipe.
Finding happiness isn't easy - it's an entire lifestyle change, it's finding new hobbies or reasons to get out of the house and meeting new people. You'll save quite a bit of money if you cut out the reefer, you could use some of that to sign up for some therapy (which could guide you in the right direction and keep you on the right path).
Mary J isn't exactly physically addictive, as you know. It's more psychologically addictive, and to drop it out of your life means a lifestyle shift. New things to keep you busy. Join a kickball team or join the tech crew of a theatre. Maybe get into dating. Sign up for some classes at the gym too so you can be part of a group and meet new people.
Seriously, I think weed can be really great when used properly - the occasional usage with pals, on a camping trip in the wilderness, or whatever. But not like this, not like you're using it. I've been there, and it was fun I guess, but then I got to this point where I felt aimless, useless, stagnant, and it took an enormous change - moving and going back to school, to make me feel like "Me" again. The reefer-induced fog had to be lifted to do that, and frankly, it wasn't hard at all to cut it out of my life with the move and going to school. I was busy and didn't have any time for smoking - or to find a new dealer. My life was so exciting that I had no time for reefer - it almost bored me. I hope you find yourself in the same place.
Just by asking this question, I think you know that you should take a break from smoking for a good long while to find a purpose in life. Otherwise, you will go through the rest of your life feeling incomplete. The weed will be there when you come back after finding yourself. Good luck, sweet!
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (6 July 2013):
 First, decide what you really want, to remain as you are, or to reach out for something different!
If you do want to change your life don't try and go it alone, go speak with your GP, be honest with him regards your pot smoking, and ask him if he can help you kick that habit in order to form some healthier ones.
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