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Should I question this guy's motives?

Tagged as: Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 June 2012)
A female age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I'll try to make this as short as possible. So I was seeing this guy back last June, not exclusively. He had just came out of a 2 year relationship and wasn't looking for anything serious, but we never had sex. He's 20 and in college and came down and saw me every weekend. I'm 17 and in high school in a different state. After a couple of months he told me that he didn't want to string me along as he wasn't ready for a relationship right now and that we should just be friends for now. Obviously I thought that that was just a line and dismissed him but a couple of months later he started texting me again and asked me to meet up, we did and he explained how he did actually care about me but its just so complicated with him being away. He casually mentioned about us getting together sometime in the future but I didn't put much pass on it. I saw him again the following two weeks but then he had to go back up to college. It's been continuing like that ever since (seeing him every month or 6weeks) he hasn't been in town much but whenever he does he always texts me to meet up. He says he cares about me and that he does miss me and that he will stop contacting me if I feel it isn't fair on me, but that he doesnt want to do that. he says that it annoys him too that we both like each other but that there's not a lot we can do about it until he finishes college. It makes sense, but I can't help but wonder am I just being naive? And should I question his motives

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (8 June 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt I don't think he has hidden " motives ", he spelled it out pretty clearly : he does not want to be in a relationship with you, and he is not going to do the LDR thing. If you are OK with dating casually, when it happens it happens, no expectations, then it's fine. If you want something more relationship-y ,then he is not the one for that.

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A female reader, soccercellogirl United States +, writes (8 June 2012):

Hey i just wanted to say that your. ot being naive ur just following your emotions and there is deffanitly nothing wrong with that i used to have the same issue except he worked at a college and only came back every once and a while me and him would go out and enjoy each others. ompany which is want i suggest you do. make the most out of your close friendship and worry about the future as it comes. your young and diserve to be happy like that and you should just go on with your life. when the time comes where you know you want to be with him for a while or even forever you wont have to question anything... good luck

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