A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know I shouldn't be, but I'm really pumped right now, and my head is swimming in possibilities.I've known this girl for 2 years, she was one of the first girls I met at college. I've always thought she was great, but up until about 8 months ago, I was in a very serious relationship.She's been one of my better friends, not my best, but I always enjoy spending time with her when shes around. Looking back I feel rather foolish because, within the last 8 months, she's asked me to do a lot and I declined. She asked me to go to Italy with her and her friends for a month this summer, to some sort of formal, to go to a concert and on the school trip to an amusement park, but since they were all last minute, I had already made plans.So overall, it's just a story of really poor timing. So I realized this, and after we all got home from school, I told her I wanted to come see her, and we made plans for a day trip out to her state in July when she comes back from Italy.Today, she suggested we turn this day trip into me coming out and spending a long weekend with her. Which is awesome, except it's giving me way too much time to think about the possibilities because I tend to over think everything.I mean, I don't even have any real basis to believe she remotely has any feelings for me. She's just overall a nice person, and we do well hanging out together, so maybe she didn't pick up on the fact that I really just wanted to see her? After all, she mentioned that her friend wanted to come too.. If she wanted to explore any possibilities, it would be easier with us two.And normally I wouldn't care, I'd just let it play out, but the fact that she's going to Italy with her guy best friend, makes me a little uneasy. Maybe I'm putting too much thought into this, and she'll come back from Italy and not even be available. Those things are pretty likely to happen. I mean, I'm not even that egocentric and I think it's pretty safe to say that I'm better than him in almost every aspect, but still, they hang out [in a group] all the time.A lot of me wants to put a little disclaimer out there that, hey, I think we could be pretty great together and I wanna check that out. But ideally, that would come after our weekend together, which might be too late. But if I do it before hand, that might put too much pressure on our weekend together, and I just want it to be chill and fun like it always is.So I guess…A) Do I have any real basis to believe I might have a chance (Stupid question, you can’t really tell, I know, just me freaking out)?B) Is it necessary, or appropriate, to put it out there that I probably have feelings for her, as a measure of making my intentions clear?C) And then, that’s something I’d normally discuss face to face. Not a big fan of texting, and neither is she. Does that make it even less appropriate to do since that’s really our only choice right now?D) Do I even worry about whether or not our mutual friend is coming?E) And just for final clarity, I guess what would you do?Please and thank you :D
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female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (25 May 2013):
 Your very welcome..... now go and have some fun, enjoy your trip as it could be the trip you talk to your kids & gran kids about one day !! :D
Mandyx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Mandy!! I do appreciate you taking the time to read and type that out.
I mostly just wanted to type this all out because that helps me get a clearer picture of what's going on in my head lol. Plus it doesn't hurt to get a second opinion.
You're advice more or less matched how I decided to play this. Its not like me to worry about anything, so I think I was more worried about the fact that I was worrying about it than the actual situation, if that makes sense.
So you did me a double favor, both by giving me clear advice, and also letting me know I was going in the right direction.
Thanks again Mandy!!
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (19 May 2013):
HI
lets see how this feels for you...
A) Do I have any real basis to believe I might have a chance (Stupid question, you can’t really tell, I know, just me freaking out)?
I think maybe she does like you, and that fact she has asked you so many times to come along adds to my conclusion .
B) Is it necessary, or appropriate, to put it out there that I probably have feelings for her, as a measure of making my intentions clear?
well No... I would take each day as it comes and force the issue.
C) And then, that’s something I’d normally discuss face to face. Not a big fan of texting, and neither is she. Does that make it even less appropriate to do since that’s really our only choice right now?
The only text I would would send right now would be, " yes I would love to come along this time, I wouldn't want to miss another trip which sounds like fun",
D) Do I even worry about whether or not our mutual friend is coming?
NO... she obviously is a adventurous type of girl who enjoys good company, be it male OR female it does not mean anything other than quality time with good friends.
E) And just for final clarity, I guess what would you do?
I would go on the weekend trip and see how it plays out, see the connection that she has with you , subtle conversations hinting your thoughts f a possible romance, but nothing full on. You have not long ended a relatonship, you wouldn't want to appear on the rebound. Shw sounds like a real fun , happy girl to be around, possitive, active, she could be good for you, as long as you take your time and not act the jealous guy ( ie concerns of her having male friends) go have some fun, and who knows SHE could be the one.
Mandy x
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