A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've known and have been sleeping with my girlfriend for 2 years besides a several month period where she changed her number and took me out of her life. Here's the deal and I am trying to get to the bottom of this and it isn't easy...we have had a long history and it hasn't always been sunshine and rainbows but we have officially been seriously dating for the last 6 months and I've been very happy because I love her with all my heart.....I now want to know if I need to break up with her...1. We only get to see each other on weekends because she goes to college and she lives an hour away. Well she stayed with her family Friday night, then her sister Saturday for most the day, then came over so that we could go hang out with some of our mutual friends and we were there having fun til like 2am...when we were done she wanted to head back to her folks house and I asked if she should just stay with me tonight..she said she was tired, then said while we were arguing that there will be weekends when she will be with just her and her family and she doesn't always have to see me all the time and of course I said I understand......2. She stopped texting me around 9pm Friday night and didn't say goodnight or anything and simply ignored me and I was worried and then the next day she said she was asleep. 3. Prior to me she was with her ex boyfriend for 3 years and he's always been the reason for our issues in the past, before making it official 6 months ago....well she brings him up in random conversations all the time in making examples or comparisons or just relating different situations. She always has a story with him in it and it gets to me. Then the other day she went into where he worked and she talked to him and she told me about it and said that isn't why she was there, but still, it rubs me the wrong way....4. Anytime I try and tell her what bothers me or tell her how I feel about things she makes it into a fight and I really hate fighting with her, but she does it all the damn time. I say whatever she wants to hear to make her stop and I always let her win, but she gets so damn angry.5. What does it mean when she says how she can't wait to come in and have sex with me this weekend and she said she shaved just for me and she has been wanting to try new positions and she misses my touch, then when she gets in town she stays with her family and barely talks to me. Then we stay at a friends house and chill awhile and when we leave it's too late and she wants to go home to her parents house and sleep. I ask her will you come over Sunday before you head back to school and she says she doubts she will have time ...so not so much as cuddling occurs this weekend.....I feel her drifting away and it scares me. I bought a ring and had plans to propose, but I am afraid one of 3 things are occurring:1. I think she may be talking to her ex behind my back.2. She stays with me because of the things I buy her and what I do for her.3. She loves the control I give her I am a doormat and she doesn't seem to respect me at all and I love her and do everything for her anything she asks...if she says come over, I'm there, or if she says, get me a drink, I do it. If she wants something, I see that it happens and I buy her stuff and take her out when I can all the time and she doesn't buy, do, or give me anything.I want her in my life but am I making a mistake?
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (30 January 2011):
Of course I'm not certain about it, but in my own opinion she could be cheating on you. As she seems pretty horny but then she wont take the chance to have sex with you.
Anyway, at this point I guess it doesn't even matter. The question here is she seems to be treating you like crap. You should dump her and get to know someone who respects you.
A
female
reader, justjess  +, writes (30 January 2011):
 You had to ask on here if you should propose to your girlfriend or not. Does that not tell you that you probably shouldn't?
If she's treating you like a doormat then she doesn't deserve you. Call her up on that, and if she trys to turn it into a argument, walk away/hang up and tell her you'll carry on the conversation when she calms down
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 January 2011):
 Yeah I think you are making a mistake and I really dont think it is a good idea to purpose to this lady. To me it sounds like she is not giving you anything from this relationship she is taking and recieving but she is not giving and it takes two people in a relationship. Ok lets go through your points on the reasons you feel you should break up with her.
1. Ok well if she is at college all week then it is understandable that she wants to spend time with her family as well as you. I guess if she is studying away from home at college then you will just need to accept that you wont get to spend as much time with her as you like.
2. Ok well it is possible that she did have an early night. I understand that you were worried but sometimes we need to give our partners some space to breath as well and if she doesnt text you back on ocassions then you will just need to accept that she is busy and dont text her again until she eventually replies.
3. As for her ex boyfriend ok she is in the wrong if she ever compares you to her ex partner as she should never compare you to anyone in her past this is cruel and can affect peoples confidence. However she also spent a good chunk of her life with her ex so it is only natural that he will come up in some stories however if it bothers you ask her would she mind if she didnt mention her ex so much around you.
4. It sounds like there is a break down of communication in your relationship. You are on the right track you should always be open and honest with her, and she should listen to you and tell you how she feels. It sounds to me like she doesnt care about your feelings and therefore she starts an arguement because she knows you will give in.
5. Yet again it sounds to me like she is playing games with you, she craves the attention that you show her but she doesnt actually want to spend time with you, it sounds to me like she is stringing you along and she knows you will put up with it therefore she is using you as a door matt.
Ok so i understand that you love her and you would do anything for her but really she is not making an effort here therefore i really think you need to ask yourself were this relationship is going and if it really is worth all of your time. Talk to her straight out tell her how you feel if she doesnt listen to you then she doesnt care about you and I think your better ending the relationship and finding someone that will treat you with respect. Goodluck.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 January 2011):
 Can I have the ring? I won't treat you like a doormat.
She still has feelings for her ex. To get her to pay attention to you the thing to do is not to love her more, convince her to love you. It's actually to pull away so she knows what she is missing. There is no need to fight. Basically tell her you have no interests hearing about her ex. If she goes on and on you say you need some space because that's not what you want to spend quality time doing. You don't need to break up with her just yet. She needs to see that you changed and became more attractive. Doing everything for her, being too available for her is not attractive. You have money so you should also start looking for girls who will reciprocate your love but at the same time still care for your girlfriend, stop by and say hi how are you doing. She needs to see that you become distant while still interested. You increase your value by not settling for less. If she wants sex then she needs to show you she loves you as a person. She may secretly feel bad that she is exchanging expensive gifts for sex.
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