A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid,soo, there's this guy that i've been on-again-off-again with for a little over a year now. i love him more than i've ever loved anybody, and he never hesitates to tell me that he loves me, too. there have been a lot of times when things have been absolutely wonderful with us...buuut then again, there have also been some bad times, too. and right now is one of those times. hopefully, somebody will be able to help me figure out how to handle it; thanks in advance to anyone who might be able to. ")this guy and i are currently not together, buuut we basically act like a couple--we talk every day, we hang out a lot, we say, "i love you," we have sex...you get the picture. he knows that i don't want him to be with anybody else, and he always says that he doesn't want me to be with anybody else, either. he invited me to sleep over at his apartment last sunday even though he had to work that night; he's done that several more times throughout the past few months. he had only been gone for about an hour when he texted me and told me to wake up, because he was coming home. then, he said, "look in the dresser by the bed, there's a box in there for you." and inside that box was a diamond heart necklace; it's absolutely beautiful, and it was completely unexpected by everyone (even his mom didn't know anything about it until i showed it to her on monday...meaning that unlike at christmas, he didn't enlist her help in picking it out). when he came home from work that night, everything was great--he invited me to shower with him, we had sex, we joked around, we watched a movie, we snuggled...it was absolutely awesome and pretty much identical to the way we had been when we were actually dating.this guy has a facebook profile, but he hardly ever posts statuses; if anything, he'll get on there, add friends, occasionally comment on or like something, and just see what everybody's up to. my best friend is friends with him on there, and she texted me on monday saying that he had updated his status (it was a quote from a hunter hayes song). i logged in with the intention of commenting on the status...only to discover that i couldn't find it anywhere. then, today, she texted me again saying that he had posted several more statuses and a picture...all things that i also could not see from my account. most of it was nothing too big; there was a picture and a status about his iphone finally being fixed, buuut then again, there were also a few conversations from a couple of girls (one of whom i have always felt posed a threat to our relationship). being the wonderful, amazing best friend that she is, my friend gave me her login information and told me to check it out. i did, and i discovered that i've only been able to see about 75% of the things he's posted in the past few months. i logged in under my mom's name to see what she's got access to, and she can't see anything that's hidden from me.i talked to the guy's mom about it, and she doesn't think i need to get freaked out; she said that he loves me and cares about me, and if he didn't, he wouldn't have bought me the necklace. she said that the girls from those posts are just friends and that he, obviously, isn't out buying them jewelry. really, she thinks that he just needs time and that if i'm just patient with him and avoid starting a fight because of this facebook incident, everything is going to be fine.what am i supposed to make of all of this? is it something i need to worry about? should i confront him? or, do you think his mom might be right, and there's really nothing to make a big deal out of? any help is greatly appreciated. ")
View related questions:
best friend, christmas, facebook, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (28 April 2012):
 Could be that early on in your relationship he set you up with limited access to his information. As the relationship progressed he just forgot to change the status. Don't make a big deal about it but you could casually ask him about it. Tell him that you were at your girlfriend's house and she pulled him up and she could see all of his posts, but when you log in, very little actually shows. I personally didn't know you could be that specific about your individual friends, but in the beginning of your relationship he probably set you up as an "Acquaintance" and the other people are set up as "Friends" When he did his settings for pictures and posts he probably only clicked "Let Friends See my pictures and posts" and that would leave out people he set up as an "Acquaintance"....that's really the only thing I can think of. So you might simply ask him if he ever moved you from the "acquaintance" status to "friend" and see what he says. He has probably forgotten that you're not being included on his activities. It's probably a simple fix. He can either change your status in his friend circle or simply include "Friends AND acquaintances" when he posts pictures and comments.
A
female
reader, JessicaStarDust +, writes (28 April 2012):
 This is why I really loathe Facebook. I have one, but to talk to my family. It always seems to have some type of drama with it. Honestly, You should not take it seriously. He seems like he is content with you. Unless you saw something that was down right proof to a betrayal on you. Then do not worry. It will be okay. Try to avoid fighting with him about it. Anyone will get pretty upset when the other is "snooping" or looking for a reason to fight. To him, that might be the way he see's it.Try to think positive with him. He bought YOU a diamond necklace. Not the other girl. He invites YOU over. You both enjoy each others company.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 April 2012):
 Well there was nothing on the conversations that would make you think he was with any of these other girls is there? Maybe he has just put these settings up so that you don't get the wrong idea about these girls. It sounds to me like you both should be together, but if it is going to really bother you a lot then you need to talk to him about it. Because if you don't you will end up hating him for it and it will cause distance. Don't argue with him, just mention what your friend said and say to him you couldn't see it and ask him why he felt he needed to do this? Try not to make a huge deal out of it though. Good luck.
...............................
|
