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Should I not have asked my ex to forget me, since he can't accept the break up?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 December 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 December 2007)
A female , anonymous writes:

I told my ex to forget me because he won't accept the breakup, and he says he can't bring himself to do it. But, then again, I don't want him to completely forget me. He still loves me and I love him, I just broke up with him because I wanted him to change into a person who could respect me. I knew if I stayed with him he would never change-and of course you can't change people and I didn't want to try to. Anyway, why do I tell him to forget me and that I don't want to be with him when really I don't want him to forget me and I want him to love me enough to change for me so we can be together in the future? Should I not have asked him to forget me?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

To clarify how I felt disrespcted it was because over and over he would ask me to smoke and if I didn't he would get mad saying I was making a big deal out of little things- when I have NEVER been a smoker. He would also do this with drinking and sex (which I wanted to stop with him and wait until we were married -we were engaged). Anyway, he would repeatedly apologize but then start up again with pressuring and pushing me and making me feel bad if I didn't do these things. He also wouldn't let me talk if something was bothering me -he said I could only talk about nice things. Tell me if I'm crazy, but I think I made a pretty rational decision in leaving him becasue even though he kept saying he would stop these behaviors he never did and I just started losing self confidence and he was literally wearing away at me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I made it clear numerous times that I feel his is disrespectful when he won't let me talk or disregards my opinions and feelings as just "me making a big deal out of little things." I have told him numerous times that these "little things" are all of my opinons and feelings. So, tell me if I am wrong and don't understand what you are saying, but I DID tell him numerous times, both while we were together and while we are broken up that I felt disrepsected and told him HOW I felt disrespcted.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Were my demands really selfish? Asking for respect is selfish?

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