A
female
age
51-59,
*harron
writes:I should be getting married this year and love my partner but i feel he still loves his ex wife because of never getting rid of his old past photos. Should i let him keep all of his wedding and past holiday with our new lives. Including our newborn baby.I now live with him but did not take any of my photos. or still have my ex around.
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female
reader, Italie  +, writes (6 February 2009):
 I still have photos and mementos from my marriage and I never loved him in the first place!!! It was just a large chunk of my life and there were some holidays etc that I'd like to remember. It's a bit of sentimentality, that's all.
I dont have them dotted around my home or flaunt them in front of my other half but I also dont feel that I have to hide them. If your other half constantly looks at them/displays them etc then I'd say to him that they make you feel uncomfortable and ask that he put them away but if it's just the case that you object to him having them at all then I dont think you should be worrying yourself about it. It doesnt necessarily mean anything.
If there are other reasons you think he still has feelings for his ex then that is a different matter but honestly this means nothing.
As to whether or not you should marry him - I naturally distrust men and feel that it gives me some protection from getting hurt by doing so. Ok, I know it's not necessarily healthy but I've beaten myself up for years over it and have come to realise it's part of me that's my problem. I'm getting married this year too. I dont trust my other half but I dont think I could fully trust any man so why spend the rest of my life alone or searching for one that doesnt exist. This may or may not be similar to your situation so I wouldnt necessarily say not to get married just because you dont trust him. It takes time to build so might come eventually. If not you need to be able to live with the feelings (and not punish him for it) for the rest of your life.
I know you'll get other "you cant have a relationship without trust blah blah" answers but we are all different and I can do it so I'm sure you can if you want to as long as you try to keep control over it.
Good luck xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): There are probably two outlooks on this, firstly, you could be right and he is trying to hang on to his past and still has feelings for his ex.The second could be that he is keeping them for posterity, I myself have been in a relationship for the last 7 years, but I have kept photos (including wedding album), wedding and engagement rings, and various other bits and pieces, there are no feelings towards my ex (i still see her quite often), but I am keeping them solely to pass on to my daughter (my ex is her mum) when she is old enough. My current partner is cool about this as I dont try to hide anything from her, and she also has various things from her past that she has kept.it is up to you to decide if it is acceptable and also have you spoke to your fiance about why he has kept them.What I would say though, is if you have any doubts at all, dont get married, you will just end up another statistic, and until the problem is fully resolved (u thinking he still loves his ex) it will always be there.
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