A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Here's my situation my girlfriend and I recently broken up we were together for a year and it was mainly a long distance relationship. When we were together I was planning on moving to her city and whenever I would visit her city I fell in love with the city and could definitely see myself living there. However, since we've broken up my main reason in moving down there is now gone. But I still do want to live there just because that place is so much better then where I'm living right now. With the cost of living being so much cheaper and a much more lively scene, which I love. So i guess I'm wondering if its still a good idea to make the move or should I just forget about it completely.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 September 2010):
 I see nothing wrong in you moving there, after all it is not "her" city ;)
As long as you understand that you moving there will not "win" her back, if that is what you were hoping for.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): well have a chat with your ex if you are in contact and see how she feels about it but yeah its up to you at the end of the day. she may think your stalking her by moving to her city though after the split and would you really want to live there now your no longer together. i couldnt cope going to worthing ever again since me and my ex split as i wont want to see her it would hurt too much. give it some time maybe to get over the r.ship but look into other places that you could maybe move to.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 I think you could still move. But be aware that it would seem very odd if your ex found out. She would without doubt wonder why you would still want to move. Not to mention you run the risk of meeting her often, and maybe you will feel more heartbroken being so much closer to her?
I don't know for how long you have been broken up. But I advice you to deal with the heartache first, and then possibly move. To let things calm down you know.
I realize this situastion is very different from a situation I once experienced, but there are some similarities: me and by then boyfriend had planned for about a year to travel abroad together for a language class. It was something I had wanted to do a long time and would have loved to have him with me. When we got closer to the actual departure day, he said he had never really wanted to go, and we also broke up (not for that reason, but still).
As the traveling day came however, he had changed his mind back again and decided to join the language class after all. It was VERY unpleasant. And then with having to spend so much time together we coudn't really get over each other either. It was a mess.
The similarties here is that you will get closer to your ex by moving. And that can be unpleasant for her. But it can also be unpleasant for you. I don't know the size of the city in question, but its just a tought. If you do move I think it would be best not to tell your ex. And it would be best to try and avoid her. There will without doubt be specualtions about whether you moved to be close to her. She could take it the wrong way.
So, again, best to give it some time, so the breakup can be dealt with before you move anywhere.
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