A
female
age
51-59,
*hereisthelove
writes:I will try to make this short I have dated this guy for almost two years and he works a lot which doesn't allow us to spend a lot of time together which i understand but what i don't undetstand that on his days off he would tell me that he would see me in a little bit and I would wait and wait and wait and he would show up almost right before time for me to go to bed, not considering the fact I have to get up at 4 everyday to go to work (he was never on time for anything). He says little things sarcatically to me, he is sometimes very insensitive to my feelings and my thoughts. He even asked me one time what I thought about a situation and when I started to answer he said what i thought didn't matter. one time we were watching a movie and the killer killed this pretty girl and he said to the man on tv, "man you didn't even ***k her first, right there with me sitting beside him. he told me one time that i am getting sassy with him because i expressed my opinon about something. now he tells me that he wants nothing else to do with me because i finally spoke my mind without showing any fear and he really hasn't called me in a month. i love him and can't get him out of my head but he set the boundary for me not to call him and i won't but it's like he could say whatever he wanted to me and when i hit the roof and tell him about himself he throws me away. should i call, should i move on, should i wait? i am hurting bad but don't know what to do.
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female
reader, Lela +, writes (3 December 2010):
IS THIS A SERIOUS QUESTION??! SHOULD YOU MOVE ON???HELL YESS! SHOULD YOU CALL HIM??! HELL NO! If anyone should be calling it should be that dumb cold-hearted bastard calling YOU to apologize. Wait....if you've stayed with him, he must mean something. But obviously he's inconsiderate. Your opinion don't matter to him, you said it yourself. How can you be with someone who doesn't value your mind?.....You can't. Thats the truth. =(
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 December 2010):
 Go out there and get to know people. If you run into someone you find interesting, go on a date.
And, honey.... Don ever settle. Life to short for that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): It always hurts when someone treats you badly and you dont understand why. It sounds like he is a manipulative bully and I think its going to take you a while to come to terms with his awful behaviour. At the moment you are grieving for a potential future and relationship and its quite normal to feel let down, upset, hurt and confused. You need to give yourself time to come to terms with these feelings. I have been in an awful relationship and like you was dumped and came out of it with zero confidence and self esteem. Give yourself a few days/couple of weeks to feel the pain of the end of something and then pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Make a decision that no-one will ever treat you like this again. If they start off treating you badly, you talk about it and end it. Full stop. In the meantime lean on your friends and family for support. Read up on increasing self confidence and toxic relationships that may halp. Get yourself out there girl and dont worry there are some really nice good men out there. One day you will look back and realise you had a lucky escape from a bully who would have made your life hell!
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A
female
reader, whereisthelove +, writes (2 December 2010):
whereisthelove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow! I guess I just wanted to believe he would change and realise that he really loves me. This is all good advice you have all given me. I hate to hurt, especially when we started out so great and two people could not have been more in love I thought. Is it too early for me to date? I have been in my pajamas and hiding in my house every chance I get but when I do get out to run errands or something I have been asked out.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 December 2010):
Tell me 5 things you LOVE about him..
The fact that he treats you with disrespect?
The fact that He treats you like a booty call?
The fact that he doesn't really want to take the time to be with you?
The fact that he is manipulative?
The fact that he really doesn't give a damn?
Re-read your own post and tell me if someone else had written that post if you could spot the guy having ANY feelings for the writer. I can't. He seems like cold hearted bastard who likes to use others.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): You ask should you move on? Reading your story the answer has to be yes. He has treated you badly, is unreliable and does not make you happy. He was in your life and now he's not - there is bound to be a big hole and you are hurting. Don't contact him. Somehow you have to realise that actually he is doing you a favour as he frankly not a good guy. His attitude to women seems a bit worrying. So take heart. It will be tough for a while but you can get over it.
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A
female
reader, confusoholic  +, writes (2 December 2010):
 I think you should move on...this person doesn't seem to value you or cherish you...or he'd never treat you this way...i know you love him; but sometimes its better to let go...coz there's someone who'll treat you like a princess who's waiting for you to find him :)
All the best.
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule +, writes (2 December 2010):
 He's not treating you very nicely and so, I think that you should move on. Don't call him. Delete his number, distance yourself as much as possible, just cut him out of your life.
Wallow in self pity for a while, grieve for a few months (it's supposed to take a month for every six months you were together to get over someone).
But you have to be strong. Prove to your self that you don't need him, it's okay to be pathetic for a while and just stay at home in your pyjamas for ages. But then you should get a new haircut, get yourself done up, get a new outfit and go out on the town with your friends.
You don't need this guy. He isn't worth the effort.
Good luck.
xx
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