A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am so confused. My ex and I dated for a year, but have known each other for 4 and dated a time or two in that period. An ex boyfriend came back into the picture a few weeks ago. I found her lying to me about where she was, and she was actually with him. I don't know if she ever cheated, of course she wouldn't confess. I confronted her on it and she denied denied and told me that i cant control who she hangs out with. We broke up, didn't talk for a week or so. Then she called me and told me that she wanted to be single for a while to figure out what she wants. We hung out a few time in the past two weeks and it seemed that things were working themselves out between us. She told me a week ago she wanted to be with me forever and we spoke of engagement. A few days later she was staying overnight with her ex. I tried to forget the past month or so, but it all came flying back out after this. Today, I decided maybe its best to forget the relationship, as hard as it might be. I am truly in love with her and can't see myself with anyone else, but at the same time I don't think i can sit back and watch her screw around and put me on the back burner while she does whatever she wants. Should i move on, she lied numerous times that i caught her and made me a nervous wreck for the last month...I need some kind of advice..thanks in advance.
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broke up, her ex, move on, period Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, r4nd0menough2luvu +, writes (27 March 2009):
I think you should break up with her. I mean she said all these things and lied to you! But if you think about it even if you guys married she will keep lying to you and worst thing will probably go with her ex. So i think the best choice is to forget about her. Be single for a few weeks before dating someone else. Think about all the good things being single =D Also if you feel bad and regretful about breaking up go get a journal and write down all the bad things she did to you. Don't reread just keep writeing until your heart is better. Ino this sounds weird cry even if you have to. Even talk to a buddy.
PS: there are always better people in the world you deserve
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009): if she has lied numerous of times what is sayin she wont lie again or not even cheat on you. to be honest i think you sould leave her, because she is messing you around and why would she go on sleep at her ex's house if she ws truely in love with you. im sorry i sounds harsh but it is what i think, u hope you do the rught thing.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (26 March 2009):
I think that you've answered this one yourself... plain and simple, if she's giving you uneasy, nerve-wrenching feelings, not to mention being caught in lies (and you're 100% sure of that, right? -- no possible other excuse?)... then it's time to cut your losses and move on. I can only give you my gut feeling on this, but to me it seems that people that are deceptive in a bf/gf relationship will only become worse so in a marriage.
This ex-bf overnight thing bothers me some... from two points: First, how do you know that nothing happened? ...and second, how did you find out about it? Were you standing in the hall when she walked into his apartment? ...or worse, did you hear it from somebody else? Be mindful of anything that you didn't see with your own eyes. More often then not, 2nd-hand information is lacking the details to make a sound decision... worse yet, if it's being told to you by somebody that might have designs on you for themselves... just food for thought...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009): Get your balls back! You don't deserve to be a nervous wreck and lied to and played for a fool! Yes, move on and get on with your life without all this stupid drama! You can't see yourself with anyone else at this TIME, but give it TIME and you will realize there are much better fish in the sea. Pretty fishes that will love you for you and appreciate you and not lie to you and respect you! It will all be alright, you'll see. :)
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A
female
reader, ~AgonyAuntLaure~ +, writes (26 March 2009):
If she lied numerous times you should just forget about her. But if you still love her give her one more chance but if she breaks that dont trust her again!
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