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female
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*heskycastle
writes: Last weekend, I was at my boyfriend's and he asked me whether I will move in with him. We live 2hrs drive apart and we both wish we can see each other everyday. I love him dearly, but I don't know why I don't know how to answer that. Moving in with him requires me to quit my job, tell my parents (I still live at home, and my parents will not like the idea of living together before marriage), not seeing my friends, basically start a new life. He said he wants me to have my circle of friends when I move to his city. I feel like he just want me to have friends so he can go out with his buddies and not feel guilty about leaving me at home. I'm so scarde now. I'm scared I sacrifice everything for him, but it will only leave me feeling lonely all the time. I don't want to make him feel I don't want him to have fun with his buddies. How should I handle this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, poly_ethylene +, writes (8 September 2006):
 Perhaps there is some sort of middle ground that can be reached. If you feel ready to move out of the family home, but not sure if you want to move in with your boyfriend, how about living alone or with getting a house with a friend/s? You could live closer to your boyfriend, which means seeing more of him, but be able to have your independence so you won't feel lonely if you don't see him all the time.
If he is keen to discuss the idea further, I don't think you should worry about telling him the reasons you're having reservations - particularly where leaving your friends, family and job are concerned. They seem very reasonable concerns to have.
Good luck, I hope that you can work out what's best for you :-)
A
female
reader, LiLKiss +, writes (8 September 2006):
 ok first question is how long have you been dating??? if you feel like you should and if you have known him a long time maybe you should then move in because you might later reqret it and question your self.. but honestly if you know him few months i highly advise you not to do it dont give up everything for those few months. And sometimes we all make mistakes and if you make one what can you do, it wont be end of the world. Also talk to him and say how you feel because it wouldnt be fare if you move in with him and he treats you badly. and also ask your self if you move in with him why cant you go out with him and his boddies..ask him what would happen if you wanted to go out with him and his boddies so you wouldnt feel lonly..so read everything that i wrote and i hope it will help you somehow in making decisions. good luck hun i wish you the best and dont worry so much if it doesnt turn up good..
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (7 September 2006):
 My advice would be to tread lightly. If you give up your life as you know it, you may grow to resent it.
A friend of mine moved 1500 miles to be with her "soul mate". She soon felt isolated and alone. He became a different person than the one she knew at home. He became abusive and controlling. The violence escalated to the point she became afraid for her life, so she packed up and moved back home. She had given up her career to move away, and when she went back, her job was gone and she had to start over in a new field. Just be careful and make sure it's something YOU want to do.
Good luck!
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