A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Recently, I've reached a bit of a crossroads in my life. But in saying that, I have no idea where to go from here. I'm lost, really. Not sure what I want to do, etc. Anyway, you get the picture. Almost say it's a quarter-life crisis. I'm wondering am I getting too old to do those young stupid (but harmless) things anymore, but at the same time I'm not ready to "settle". Anyway, while that's all relevant to my question, my question is not asking for advice about this situation (advice is welcome though). But there's a guy, we've been close friends for a few years, and we've always had feelings for each other, just the timings been wrong (he was seeing someone, then when he was single, I wasn't, etc etc- so a rollercoaster in that sense.) Anyway, he recently moved overseas, and we seem to have our timing right now, which we both hate. His suggestion? I move there. He's asked me a few times, and he says he'll keep on trying to convince me, until his contract runs out (2 years) and if he still hasn't managed to get me over there, he'll move back. That's the last thing I want him to do, though, because he has so much going for him, he's over there for a fantastic opportunity for his career- so I could never agree to him leaving that behind. Particularly when I'm so lost atm (this is why that was all relevant earlier). Do I go? Part of me feels... I'm not giving up a lot to give this a try. I'm still young, if I make a foolish mistake, now is the time to make it. But I'm still scared of making such a huge step. He is 17000km away (he's in the UK, I'm in Australia). Thoughts anyone? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, june234  +, writes (31 May 2010):
it could definitely be fun to move away especially if you feel as though you are in a bit of a rut.
i recommend that if you do decide to go, make sure you are remaining independent. this guy is egging you on to come out there but beware, he might get a little freaked if you actually do it! (i know this because it happened to me!)
tell him that you would like to come but that you need to get a job and a place of your own. this will keep you from rushing the relationship too much which is likely to happen if you move into his place right away.
maybe you could view this as a personal challenge/adventure! don't make it seem like you're only moving there for him but rather for yourself as a really great life experience! he can be the motivation to move but you need to remember that he can't be everything.. remember when carrie from sex and the city moved to paris for her man and ended up being completely bored? ;)
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