A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About 4 months ago I started speaking to this guy who lives in the same city as me and is only a year older than me. Everytime we speak he asks when we are meeting up and i have told him before i would. the problem is i cant bring myself to go and meet him. Everytime he asks i make exscuses as to why i can go when i actually could. Iv never had a proper relationship with a guy before and i would like one. I do like this guy im just scared as the prospect of what could happen between us etc sex as well as being in a relationship. We have saw each other before while we were out but none of us said anything to one another. What should i do...Meet up with him or not? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): you can meet in a public place and even have a friend near by for safety if you are unsure - there is also the trusted "i have to go to the bathroom" but really running the hell away excuse if he turns out to be a nut. Oh even limiting the date, say that your timetable only have a 3 hour window and then you have such and such to do. That way enough time to feel like a date but you have an escape route too if things are dragging. I have met 3 guys off the internet. First was awful as we didn't have anything in commom so we both ran fairly quickly in opposite dirrections. 2nd was great and we chatted for about 4 hours and 3rd i spent 12 hours with him lol Its all about how comfortable you are with them and how much of a weirdo they appear. Pick a very public place and have an escape route, that is why i suggest however the fact that you keep making up excuses to not meet makes me wonder whether you have picked up about him anything you are uncomfortable with. Call it a vibe but sometimes you can pick out the nuts before you have even met them - it you are concerned then try to think about why.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (5 January 2010):
 Why not meet him and see how it goes? If you feel nervous, you could meet for coffee or lunch, at a cafe or restaurant, a public place. Just make sure you get yourself there and then home again on your own.
If it's enjoyable, just take things slowly in terms of getting to know each other. It would be a good idea to wait at least a month or more before you agree to have sex. Once you do sleep together you have (both) cut off your options to date others until you decide its not working and are not going to continue as a couple.
Anyway, what's the rush? Once you have a better sense of who he is as a person, and like what you "see" (notwithstanding a few things you don't agree on, or which you like less, but still think it worthwhile to keep going) you'll be more comfortable with him, and hopefully have a potentially good relationship.
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (5 January 2010):
 Meet him in a public place like a coffee shop or cafe...where there is people around...you dont have to get naked with him, just meet up and talk..i know your nervous but give him a chance..
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 January 2010):
Why not meet with him. You're under no obligation to do anything with him other than meet. You don't have to go any further at all. But he clearly likes you, or he wouldn't be chasing you. Go for it and see what happens.
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