A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay this is super complicated. My best friends and I were a trio, and one of them needed a way to stay in the USA because he was at risk of being deported. At first I agreed to marry him, but then my parents wouldn't allow me to go through with it and threatened me that they'd send me back to our country if I did. I told him that and now for three months neither of them will talk to me, answer phone calls,txts, nothing. I honestly dont know what to do anymore. I feel guilty and sad all at the same time.
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female
reader, raiders  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 Where is he now? The only reason you should marry is for love not to fix someone legal status. This could gotten you into trouble and might have cost you your green card. I'm glad you didn't go through it because if this guy would have been a real good friend he would have kept contact with you regardless.
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (7 April 2010):
 If a deportation order is in process, marrying your friend would not have helped him. Even if you were able to help him avoid deportation, there are usually huge fines associated with staying in the U.S. illegally ($10,000+).
This is not your problem; your friend needs to contact USCIS and apply to extend his stay.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): I would say that these people couldn't have been very good friends in the first place if they were asking you to risk prison time and hefty penalties for one of them.
Do you think that had the tables been turned one of them would have taken a real chance at going to prison for you? Not to insult you at all, but most people aren't smarter than the investigators who would have been interviewing you. They regularly see that type of fraud and can smell it out quickly.
I'm sorry you lost your friends. You are fortunate to have parents who care about you enough to risk your affection for them in order to save your future. Move on. There are better friends out there.
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A
male
reader, wise old man  +, writes (7 April 2010):
my opinion of this is madness marrying someone this way for this reason will end in serious trouble for you and the person you marry.
i have been doing some research and you can even do prison time for such things it is a bad idea.
wait untill you find someone special and get some new friends
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 Maybe , your friends has disappeared and become illegals .They dare not contact you in case they exposed themselves to the authorities.They are in hiding.
There is nothing you can do anymore for them. You offered them a way out but they rejected your kind offer. They do not want you to be send back to your own country by your parents.
Your intentions was good but your friends did not want to put you into trouble. You should thank God .
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (7 April 2010):
 Don't marry him to just keep him from being deported because if it is ever found out, you risk jail. If you love him, and he loves you marry him. If not, you have to let him go.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (7 April 2010):
 I'm assuming that these friends of yours are the ones that won't talk to you. Anyway, I can understand why you feel so guilty and sad, but you know what? They really weren't your friends to begin with anyway. I mean think of what they were asking of you! Marriage is supposed to only happen once in your life, and the concept of marrying someone just for the sake of deportation is manipulative and...well, wrong! Imagine the money and the paperwork and the stress you would have to deal with, and the fact that you would have put a serious dent on the relationship with your parents. And to top it all off, you would have been sent back to your own country!I mean what kind of friends ask someone who is supposedly their 'best friend' to sacrifice all that in order to save them from deportation? Not very GOOD ones. Stop trying to contact them, because they should be the ones contacting you. That is ridiculous that they are giving you the cold shoulder just because you aren't willing to throw yourself under a bus. True friends are there to help and protect other friends, but they aren't there to sacrifice for your own happiness. Besides, his deportation is his problem. He needs to be responsible and get the papers he needs and other documentation to become a citizen, just like everyone else who is a citizen of this country. So no, don't marry him. This isn't your fight, it's his. You can be there to help him along with going about it the RIGHT way, but don't sacrifice important aspects of your own life to make his worry free. That's unfair, and it's not your responsibility. Stop trying to contact him and get them out of your mind. Just keep telling yourself that they are the ones being bad friends, and you deserve better treatment. Go out and make new friends, ones that will appreciate you for who you are and what you do, because those are the people who will give you some happiness in your life. Not these guys. Good luck.
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