A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm divorced with young children and engaged to a man I love very much. We've been engaged now for over a year and I haven't set a date for the wedding. He recently found out that some members of my family think he is too controlling and he may not be the ray of sunshine that I see him to be. This has gotten him concerned and a bit depressed and he is now demanding a date for us to get married. He's divoced, but still hasn't settled his affairs with his ex. He and she still own a home together that she lives in and he pays 100% of the mortgage on. His adult children (2, both in the mid-early 20s) live there and so do his grandchildren.The divorce decree stated she would be responsible for 25% of the mortage and they would sell the house. This never happened. They never even got a realtor. I accepted his proposal before I read his divorce paperwork and was under the impression the arrangement was somehow in the deal.His argument is that the ex is there to take care of his grandchildren. Should I give in and marry him before this is settled?He's concerned that if the house gets sold, the ex moves, then the daughter and grandchildren will move out of state and he won't see them. I already know he is going to blame me for this. We have very different views on parenting. I would like to see his daughter be more responsible for herself, she pays no rent or house bills, has a part time job and her boyfriend with no job has moved in (also pays nothing). How do we get passed this without him holding me responsible for the possiblity of his duaghter moving out of state (to live free with another realtive)?
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