A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i had a 2 years relationship wd my bf...well,i've always been waiting for him to propose and whenever i brought up the subject to him he'd say to me he aint ready and that used to tear my heart apart...well,lately he surprised me by proposing to me but the thing is am not happy by his proposal anymore...i just dont know...i got so scared...i dunno what to do?i dunno if this means that i dont love him anymore or what it could mean?am so lost and dunno if i should marry him or not?plz any good advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): I think you are feeling how I was years ago, I was with someone, who I wanted to marry, but he said he wasn't ready, then one day he asked me, we didn't end up getting married, because I wasn't sure if I had nagged him into it. It all depends on how you feel, I think you need to talk to him, don't throw away a good man.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): I'm sorry now I am confused. At the beginning of your post, you stated that you wanted to marry your boyfriend. Whenever you brought, he said that he isn't ready and it tore your heart apart. Now that he has asked you, you aren't happy about the proposal anymore? Evidentaly, something must have happened. Did an argument take place? I can't understand now that he has done the very thing that you have questioned him about (I believe that you have done this repeatedly), why you aren't on top of the world right now. If you are having second thoughts, the best thing to do is not rush into a marriage. Marriage is supposed to be until death do you part. I would sit down and seriously think about this and figure out the best course of action. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (5 October 2009):
 Well, the fact that you are uneasy about this relationship, is reason enough not to get married yet. You guys sound like you need to spend more time communicating with each other, and learn each other's deepest desires and fears, before you move any further, You need to figure out whether or not you are the ones who will fulfill each other's deepest desires and relieve each other's deepest fears. Once you've done that, then you're ready to commit.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (5 October 2009):
 You don't have to get married. Society is moving on. It is no longer frowned upon to have a long-term relationship with a person to whom you are not married. You have legal rights too these days in that situation.
However if you do get married and it comes undone then it is harder to extricate yourself if you are married. Many people feel that they like to be married when children are involved.
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