A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi! Thank you for reading my question, I really need help. I'm going on four years with my boyfriend. I love him very very much, but the problem is that I feel pressured to marry him. He doesn't pressure me, he only mentioned this once long time ago, but I can't stop thinking about it. The issue lies in living in the United States, where he is undocumented. Unfortunately he was brought here by his parents at a young age, and had no control of this. Everywhere he goes he's prohibited of leading a normal life. I don't blame this country for limiting the number of people coming in, but I am angry at the fact that the dream act didn't pass and it feels like there is no chance of there being another amnesty. He struggles to pay for his schooling, but it is hard when you can't find a job because of the lack of papers. I give him rides to school because he's also not allowed to drive. He survives on mowing lawns and doing little unstable jobs like that. I don't want to see him suffer anymore but I'm afraid to get married with him. Sometimes his family makes me feel bad and rejected, and they are very cold. I don't want to end up part of his family even though I get along with them on the surface. Deep inside I know they have completely different ways of thinking. I don't want to end up feeling used either. I know he loves me too, but I don't want him to get deported. Please Help I don't want to loose him but I don't think I could live with his family! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMan how did you know!Yeah I am colombian and he's mexican but it feels like we are so different. They do tend to joke a lot with me but aside from that he has a sister that will not turn around and say hi, even when I do. I don't know if they were joking, but they were telling my boyfriend that there are plenty of pretty women in Mexico. Which I'm pretty sure they do, but us Colombian women don't stay that far behind either.
One Christmas there was a group picture that his aunt was taking, and my boyfriend was inviting me into the picture when I was in the group his aunt said that it was only a "family" picture so I removed myself from there but I felt like it was a rejection of some sort. I love my boyfriends culture but his family seems iffy about mine. It's hard for me to tell when they are joking or not, all I want is peace. They are a big family and this is why sometimes I feel intimidated, or awkward at reunions.
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