A
male
age
30-35,
*hollywood
writes:Hi, Everyone. Sorry this is so long, but if you would take the time to read it and offer me your advice I would greatly appreciate it.I'd like to disclose from using real names so ill just call myself RJ and the love interest will be JF. I suppose I should start from the beginning. I am a bisexual male and I attend a typical American high school. I started out my freshmen year with absolutely no friends and I was pretty miserable. Nothing productive ever happened in my life until sophomore year started. I joined my schools drama class and I met the only person I have ever really loved. Upon first impression JF appeared to be flamingly gay.I was not out to myself yet so I pretty much resented him. About half way through the year I began to slowly accept myself and I started talking to him on myspace. (Myspace was still relevant at the time) To my surprise he immediately answered asking if I was gay and declared himself straight. Fearing his resentment I to said I was straight. As the year progressed we began to become very close friends and I found myself becoming infatuated with him. When spring came we both were involved in our schools production of chicago. I would say it was there in that dressing room where I began to notice my feelings. I had this fluttery feeling in my chest I'd never felt before and I found him absolutely beautiful. Anyways, the summer came and he began to call me his "best male friend". Let me explain that when we texted it was no ordinary male to male conversation. We often complimented each other and we were incredibly kind and attentive to one another. I guess he began to lead me on when we were sitting in the back of his friends car and he just laid his head on my lap. I rubbed his back like he asked and after about 10 minutes he sprang up and didnt even look at me. I went to lean on him and he immediately pushed me off. My emotions soon came to a head and I began to resent him. I constantly made fun of him and always acted annoyed by his cocky(yet extremely attractive) personality. During the summer we both went away on vacation and I began to miss him. I desperately tried to reconnect but I only made things worse. I was over dramatic and I suppose I asked to much. Eventually we patched things up and he told me he loved me. (as a friend). When I returned we were still awkwardly close but I would still try to get the occasional snippy remark in. JF is a very cocky man who likes to put on a facade of confidence to hide his insecurities. He was different for me. I saw his kind submissive personality that he would never let anyone see. Junior year started and we were very close. I drove him to school everyday but I still was hurting inside and would lash out at him. Eventually he threw in the towel and said we should take some time apart. I agreed and finally admitted to liking him via text message. (Lame I know.) Up until our schools drama competitions in which we performed in a piece together, I never talked to him. We ignored each other and it was like we were never friends. I eventually apologized for the way I acted and we became civil and friendly. Only for me to later pick more fights with him and we had this on and off friendly relationship. It would seem as if we were a doomed friendship and I was the main protagonist, but when the spring musical started, everything changed. He began to cling to my side at all times. He would call me to ask questions he could easily ask a closer friend of his and he would constantly make the effort to talk to me in drama class. On one of the days we were to perform our spring musical he even approached me (i was already in costume) and asked me to go change with him. For some strange reason I refused. After the musical he still would text me flirty things and he even re added me on facebook and sent me a text saying "I added you :) ) Im sorry but any straight man that new another guy liked him would never be this friendly. As the year came to an end me and a mutual friend of ours had a falling out and that day he decided to play along in her games and he flirted with another guy right in front of me. Overwhelmed by hysteria I walked out and went home. My friend who was a witness to this later told me he said he flirted with the other guy to bother me and it worked. After that day we have never spoken. I am now a senior and he continually tries to tease me at any chance he can find. I sent him a letter saying I just missed being his friend and that I had matured enough to not let my emotions get the better of me. Instead he replied with an unasked opinion and he tore me down completely. Saying everyone uses me and that even he used me. Since then I have had sharp pains in my chest. My heart is broken and he doesnt even care. What is everyones opinion of this story? What should I do to fix things? Should I just graduate and move on or should I try to have one last talk?Thank you for taking the time to read.
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male
reader, Nathan1  +, writes (11 January 2011):
I think you have invested far too much of your time on this man. He sounds blousey and ostentatiously camp. He may think he is witty putting you down in front of the cast. He lives his life on a stage and is constantly performing.
In short this man is a bully who cannot acknowledge his sexuality when he is obviously a rude screaming queen. Walk away chicken, give him a few years and he'll probably end up a drunk bitter old drag queen.
A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (4 January 2011):
I think he's in denial about his sexuality and taking it out on you, but I still wouldn't get your hopes up about getting together eventually.
At the end of the day, the stuff he's said to you are just words and probably a deliberate attempt to put you down.
Rise above it. Ok, he has broken your heart, but you will get over it in time and find someone better.
If he treated you like that in a relationship, would you stand for it? Probably not, so why should you when you're not in one.
Turn your attentions elsewhere
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A
male
reader, der_zyniker +, writes (4 January 2011):
I had a friend and that I loved and since he found out that I did he hasn't come anywhere near me. I tried to reconnect, but in the end it was pointless. I think this is the case with you and the one guy. You can try to reconnect, but I think that you will just end up getting hurt and the resentment you have towards him will probably not go away for a while.
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