A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 9 months is friends with his ex, and it's driving me nuts. He was friends with her 2 years before they got together, for 2 months, and they remained friends after the breakup. They've been friends 5 years now, and I only got together with him last year. The thing is, they're still really close, she hangs out with his friends at his house, they meetup etc and he regards her as his close friend. I've been tolerating it for a few months but would get angry/jealous everytime they did something together.Is it wrong for me to make him choose between me and her? I don't mind if there are circumstances where they have to interact like weddings cos they do share some common friends, but I don't like that they still meet up so casually and are kinda close. Please advise, thanks!
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female
reader, busy04  +, writes (12 September 2009):
 I think you should ask your boyfriend about maybe not meeting up so often with her. but choosing BETWEEN you & her...NO!
They've been friends for 5 years, and no disrespect but to end that for a g/f of 9 months is kind of unrealistic & a little pushy (just a little). If there isn't anything going on between them anymore and he's made that clear to you, then no harm done. But you should let him know it makes you a little uncomfortable. I mean hanging out is cool (seeing that they are friends, and have been for a while), but not too often. And I also think you need to deal with whatever is making you feel angry and jealous. Don't feel insecure honey, you're the woman now:) And she's the ex for a reason. Why don't you hang out with your guy more, build a closer bond & a stronger relationship, do things that bring you two closer & make you feel more secure, handle your business so you won't be angry or jealous when he goes out, but confident enough to know that he isn't going anywhere else.
And even though it may be hard for you now, maybe you could try hanging out with her too maybe once or twice. See what type of friend she is, you never know: she may be a really cool person.
All that said: work on you, focus on your man, voice your concerns to him and DON'T WORRY :)
Best wishes!
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