A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Should I lose my Virginity? Am I Bisexual?I don’t know what I want.My whole life I have found it difficult to socialize. I don’t mix well with new people, and would prefer being home alone than being at a party.This has created an empty spot in my life. I turn 18 in two months, and still have never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl, and never had a sexual experience or lost my virginity.I am so difficult, that I create a burden on my friends, enough that they now don’t tell me about parties or any gatherings outside of school.I want to lose my virginity like most of my friends, who are virtually in a race to lose their virginities.I know many people my age and younger who have lost theirs and are happy, but I know others who are unhappy and regretfulEveryone says that losing it makes you more of a man. My mother jokes with her friends about how my father lost his at 18. I don’t want to be laughed at too.Should I lose my virginity, or hold on till I find someone special. I don’t want to end up a virgin man unable to find a virgin girlfriend.Not only does this trouble me, but also I think I might be Bisexual.For the last 3 years, I have occasionally been attracted to guys. I don’t want to be gay. I can’t imagine myself being gay later in my life. It’s just now that I have strong feelings towards guys, usually more overwhelming than my feelings for girls.I have been attracted to a guy a year younger than me for a few years. Sometimes he acts differently around me when we are alone, and is more open than usual. I am suspecting that he might be attracted to me, but I don’t know a way of showing my feelings towards him without scaring him away if he was straight. He has been a good friend of mine since we met. I don’t want to end our friendship. How can I let him know my feelings?I think this whole Bisexual thing might just be a side effect of not having any sexual contact with girls. I assume that it is probably some hormonal imbalance. Should I try to live as a Bisexual, or cut to the chase and just stay straight?
View related questions:
lost my virginity, never had a girlfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (1 March 2007):
You say that for the last 3 years you have been attracted to guys. You also are attracted to a particular guy. You do not say that you have been attracted to any girls - instead, you feel you should probably have a girlfriend or lose your virginity because that's what everyone else is doing. It seems you have great peer pressure to have a girlfriend, but instead you are finding yourself attracted to guys.
You said you don't want to be gay. Yes, it is a little harder, because there are some bigoted people out there, but generally, it is no problem at all, and honestly not a lot different!
Losing your virginity is not something you should be bothered about - who cares about the other boys? You don't get a certificate.
What seems to be the main issue right now though, is that you are a bit of a loner. Lots of people don't like parties, but you do need a couple of friends and it's not healthy to have no interests and stay in all of the time.
I would say not to worry about this - just take your time making friends with people who perhaps have the same hobby as you, and one day you will find a special friend where you also have mutual attraction, and you will slowly find it all comes naturally.
Remember, you only need to meet one person in your life, and you can wait for the right one. It really doesn't matter when that person comes along what gender they are - just that you both love each other.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007): I think you're being to hard on yourself. I was 21 at the time, my ex-girlfriend was 24 and it was the first time for both of us.It really depends what meaning you attach to it. There is no right way or right time. You are completely free to make it the purely physical or emotional moment you want it to be. I say "you" and by that I mean you and your partner. It's fine to think about it now but come the moment you'll have to understand how he or she's approaching it as well. I wouldn't want you to lose sight of the fact that this is your choice. I realize you've got your mates, your mom and your close friend on your mind but at the end of the day that "moment" is your choice. It's your life and your story to write. No one is holding the pen but you. I understand that your worried. Remember to look out for "Number One". I'm not going to tell you about "my moment" or what lead up to it because all those stories are of little use since none will truly relate to what's going to happen between the unique person you are and the unique person your partner will be. Just relax and enjoy each other company. It's fun. As for your close friend... I can't say I know how you feel but I do understand that it's occupying your mind quite a bit. I've lived in a few different cultures and everyone's got a different take on sexuality. My personal view is that the imaginary line we draw between homo and hetero sexuality is simply imaginary. I believe it's normal to develop feelings towards either sex. Further I believe we all do. You may simply be curious. It's normal when you're worried and you're more comfortable with your guy friends than you are with the opposite sex. It's hard to imagine change when you're in the present but you will inevitably because much much more comfortable with women over time. Simply thinking about it does not make you a bi-sexual.
...............................
A
female
reader, ask-me-anything +, writes (23 February 2007):
 From what you've said i dont think you are bi-sexual you may be bi-curious, and i dont think you should rush into losing your virginity, it should be with someone special not some one night stand. When your older would you rather remamber having sex that you enjoyed with a girl that you loved or having sex with a random girl(as its your first time under pressure you may not be your best) and a girl saying to everyone that your not very good would not be nice at all. If i were you i would wait for someone special that will not pressure you and not tell people how good/bad you were.
...............................
|
