A
female
age
36-40,
*weetIvy
writes:I have been best friends with my (ex) fiance for almost 10 years, dating in a long distant relationship for a year and a half and engaged for almost 6 months. We recently took a vacation together and he was on his phone and tablet the whole time, not paying me much attention. In fact, he has been distant for almost a month since i found out by default that he may have another child in addition to his 6 year old whom I am attached to and love very much. He recently took a paternity test for an 8 month old child (she would have been conceived before we started dating). Anyways, during the trip, he was pretty distant and not so loving towards me as he ususally is. I accused him of talking to another woman bc a woman from work was texting him while on our trip. He got very upset and even set me up to think that they were talking about sex "to teach me a lesson." He wants me to stay out of his stuff. Ongoing issue for me. I am nosy. We have been away from each other for 2 days now and he is barely texting/calling me. He called off our engagment when we got back from vacation so he can work on "being the husband I need him to be." He claims he feels bad that he hasn't been to church in a year,etc. I feel lonely and am scared of losing him. What should I do? Be patient until the paternity tests come back and see if he goes back to normal? Should I let the relationship go to protect my heart? Im really confused.
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (11 July 2012):
 He is playing a game with you. If he is serious about you, HIS stuff is also YOUR stuff...particulary when it comes to him possibly texting/seeing other women. What he is doing is wrong. If he is working on the husband you need him to be...why doesn't he just start now and come clean? I don't think he is being straight with you. If you are really still interested in him after all of this, I would consider talking with him one last time and presenting him with an ultimatum. He comes clean with you on everything and then you work on the relationship together or you leave. Right now he is being secretive, condescending, a jerk, AND he is making excuses. If he was on the up-and-up and a decent guy, he would not be treating you this way.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2012): I can't think of many things that could leave a man more stressed out and preoccupied than waiting to find out if a child is his. Cut him some slack for being distant right now.
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A
female
reader, lover06 +, writes (10 July 2012):
Let it go . If he is treating you like that now, what will be happening after you get married. I say let it go is not worth it.
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