A
male
age
30-35,
*thz
writes:Hey,Friends I'm feeling very confused about my career. I can't decide my career, I want to marry my gf and her parents may get her married after a couple of years but I don't think that 2 years are enough for me to be something.I still have to pursue higher studies as shes 2 years older than me. Should I let the future of my relationship affect my career?I wanna do an MBA or Job but this relationship is making me confused should i let it influence my decisions or plans? We're muslims we had sex and I love her really and I feel that its my responsibility to marry her. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2016): As a Muslim, you know that having sex may be a problem for her if you decide two years from now that you might not want to marry her. You love her you say. You both realize the importance of completing your MBA. You sound like a responsible and conscientious young man.
May I recommend a long engagement? Of course we also have to consider if she even wants to marry you.
For cultural, moral, and religious reasons; you know you must do right by her for taking the chances that she has by having premarital sex. If she should accidentally get pregnant, you may bring some family shame on her.
My concern is that you're not sure you want to marry her under any circumstances; and using your pursuit of your MBA as an excuse. I know lots of married people who have completed their graduate studies, while also maintaining a full-time job. So unless you're a pauper, unable to provide a dowry and financial support; or your family is too poor. I cannot see any reason you have to feel marriage would hinder your continued education. Perhaps if you have children too soon. That should be planned and based on your financial situation; especially if she carries most of the financial burden.
There are two reason you shouldn't marry her.
1.) You don't love her enough.
2.) You took her virginity, and now you feel guilty about it.
Loving someone is the only good reason to make a life-long commitment like marriage. Together, you will both share your resources, and divide expenses. I'm sure you will receive all the support you need from her; if she loves you enough to say yes.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 April 2016):
 Why would being married effect your future career wise? Can you still not be married and get the career that you want? You can still be married and study afterwards no? I don't really understand, it sounds like you feel that marriage will stop you from achieving what you want but I don't understand why it would.
Are you feeling that you are not ready for marriage? Because if that is the case you need to be honest with your girlfriend it is okay to love someone and want to be with them but still not be ready to make such a huge commitment. I believe sex before marriage is frowned upon in your religion but that was a decision you both made, it does not mean you have to marry her. If you are having doubts, then wait until you feel the time is right.
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