A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have previously written a post under the heading "How do I handle this" on June 1st, so maybe if you read that first then this will make more sense, so my h keeps going on and on about how he thinks he upset this half sister called cynthia by sending her some pic's of our family, and he said that if he had upset her and then if she said that she would not want to continue to build a relationship with h then he would be distraught and he would get in the car and drive 7 and half hours to see her to have it out, I told him that shows that he is not thinking straight, why would some family pics upset her, he said coz they showed a happy family and she doesn't come from a happy family,she is happy now though and done just fine for 41yrs without h in her life, so then he picks a fight with me over her, the usual stuff, and in the end I told him to arrange to visit her, just go, mainly to get out of my hair and I am sick of hearing her name, it has been going on for 6 weeks now, so he phoned her the next day and she was all for it, so he is going to visit next week from wed to monday, a long visit considering they are strangers and don't even know if they get on or not. I am not going as I have to work, he has asked me to go and I have said no, I want to have a few days on my own for the peace and quite, my question is am I stupid for encouraging my h to visit a half sister that he is clearly besotted with, her husband will be there for some of the time, but they will have at least 2 full days together with her 2 year old son of couse, my reasoning in this plan is so that they either can see that they don't get on or that they do and he will settle down when he gets back home, or of course it could make him worse, if that's possible, he acts as if he is in love with her and she can wave her magic wand and all his problems will disappear, any advice greatly appreciated, thanks.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (4 June 2010):
 I think you should go with him... if he's at that funny age, he may make a fool of himself.. he needs to be watched I think.
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (4 June 2010):
 It sounds very much like he's having a mid-life crisis. Men in the midst of that are out of their head a bit, and not very subject to reason. So you have two choices -- do what you did, let him go and see if he comes to his senses on his own. Or clamp down hard, and put up with the resulting fights. With any luck Cynthia will be put off by his overwhelming needy-ness and he'll come home with his tail between his legs feeling like an idiot.
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