A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a tough spot. Here's some background... I got with this guy when I was 17, we were together for 6 years, and had two kids together. The relationship was.. rocky, to say the least. It was always him cheating on me constantly, leaving me for other girls, and then running back to me when it didnt work out. A little over a year ago he did it again, left me for someone else, and had another kid. Anyway.. so it's been over a year since we were together. My self esteem was completely shattered. This past year has been full of me figuring out who I am, trying to find my self, and being a single mother with little to no help from the ex. Now he's come back, saying how blind he was, how ignorant and selfish and etc. He used to be an alcoholic as well and he's quit drinking. Long story short.. he wants to get back together. I still love him, I always will..but I don't think I can be with him anymore. It really does seem like he's grown up in the more recent history.. he's been coming around, helping me with the kids and etc..anyway now I feel l'm being selfish in saying "no." Which, believe me, no is not a word he ever heard from me in the past. He's not using any of the old tricks, like guilt, or shame etc.. he's just wanting to get back together and be a family. For the past year I worked so hard to get over him, and I did. I'm over him. Part of me feels like I'm making a big mistake though, like I'm robbing my children from having a two-parent household, and I'm afraid I'll never find someone who I get along with the way I get along with him. Basically I feel like if I get back with him I will be settling for something in my comfortzone. I'm also afraid that if I say no I might regret it later. I just don't know what to do. I should mention he currently has a girlfriend and says he'd leave her if I say the word... maybe he hasn't changed all that much. I don't know I just need some opinions, he's my comfort zone.. should I stay in it or venture into the unknown and risk losing him forever?
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alcoholic, get back together, has a girlfriend, my ex, self esteem Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply. I guess I call him my comfort zone because he's all I've ever known. Finding someone new just seems... scary and hard to do. I've never even slept with anyone else, ever. He cheated because he was insecure, young, and horny lol. I've forgiven him and we get along handsomely. I think I just need a few more life experiences before I can say I'm ready to settle down forever. I still don't know for sure.. again, thanks for replying. :)
A
male
reader, werther  +, writes (29 July 2010):
hi
so is it really Comfortable? all these years being left again and again doesn´t sound like comfort or security or cool at all.
but you love him.so it could work...
how is the sex? why did he cheat ?
he needs to help with the kids anyway.... he is their dad.... no-one else can be their dad, they can get a new extra parent but not a new dad, so he must for his own sanity spend time with them......
you guys are young....
you have time to find new partners or fuckbuddies or what you need, but then you need to know what you need......
if You want to find yourself and figure out what you want do that..
...............................
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