A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi! Should I leave my wife for lover?I'm 26 year old guy and have cheated on my wife. Last 12 months I have lived abroad due to work and I have seen my wife once a month. I have been married for 3 years and together with her for 6 years. We met when I was 19. We have had ups and downs. When she wanted to leave I fought for her hard. I have missed my wife like cray and been depressed every time I got back from home in the past year. 3 months ago I met this wonderful colleague. We clicked right away but I considered it to be friendship and so did she and I didn't see any harm in seeing her. Even my wife encouraged me to see people because I didn't have much social life abroad. But then slowly I wanted to see my colleague more and more and missed my wife less and less. I tried to break up with my lover but ended up sleeping with her. Now I finally did broke up with her. I told my wife. She wants me still back and is willing to forgive. I haven't seen my wife yet after I told her. But I feel no guilt although I know I hurt her bad. I just miss my lover and feel bad for hurting her too. Should I leave my wife for her? I had perfect marriage, I was happy. Now I want to be happy with my lover.
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broke up, cheated on my wife, depressed, want to be happy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): "A wrong decision is better than no decision at all." Then go make your decision, rightly or wrongly and have no regrets.
LoveGirl
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you again Love Girl!
I think you tell me everything I know deep inside me already. But it's good to hear it loud in my face. I guess I'm hoping to get the answer from outside when I actually know I must decide between them bymyself. I'm coward not to have guts to make the decision and live with it. Just don't want to make the wrong decision. Thank you anyway.
Btw, just remembered something I was thaught in the army. A wrong decision is better than no decision at all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): Aha, that 'soulmate' word again. Overrated here on DC.
Of course you want to talk to the new lover, its exciting, its new and its forbidden. Not a 'normal' relationship, certainly not like marriage with its ups and downs.
You need to make a decision and stick with it. Either the lover or the wife. You Cannot have both. And I think your wife has suffered enough already, don't you?
Regrets, right now you see the romance, that warm feeling for your affair lady, but regrets can destroy your life. So choose wisely and do not regret your choice.
LoveGirl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the replies!
My problem is more if I still love my wife and have just a crush on my "lover". I have slept with her just once but I enjoy every second with her. I can talk with her for hours and hours. So it's not that I just want to have sex while away from home. I feel like she could be my soulmate. But then again, I felt the same when I met my wife.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): You just want to throw your wife and marriage away??? Your wife truly loves u and u did love her as well. You missed her , was lonely and depressed. You tried to replace her with a lover. This did not work. You do not love your mistress, you love having sex with you. Ask yourself if your lover could cheat with you, knowing u were married, would she not do the same to you? You have betrayed your wife and you have hurt her tremendously. This is inexcusable. She loves you in spite of your cheating. This makes it so sad.Now for the crunch: if you do not want your wife anymore, then yes, divorce her. You will be destroying her if you prolong her agony. Allow her to move on with her life. She sounds like a good woman, so she will move on and she will find a man who will value her, love her and not replace her. In the end this is it, very simply put. Your wife has been faithful to you while you work away from her. She too could F around while u are not with her, but she hasn't. Your choice really. LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): If you want to be with your lover then be with her but why didn't your wife move with you? If You're Depressed whenever your not seeing her, Stay with your wife.
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