A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help! I went out with my ex for about 3 years. We split up the year before last and he started going out with someone else-although that finshed because he said he couldn't stop thinking of me. We drifted back together-but the relationship was strained because he was still screwed over his ex. I fell head over heals in love with him again. However, at the end of last year he finished with me because he wasn't sure that there was a future for us and he was confused and wanted some space. We were very both very emotional and said it was the hardest decision he's ever made.I found someone else, who I really liked at first, but now, doesn't seem to be giving me the affection I'm after. My ex tells me now that he's changed, and he's hell bent on trying to get me back! He says he's now had time to see what he's lost, still loves me and can't imagine life without me. The thing is, I've never loved anyone as much as I loved him and he makes me feel so special and loved. I still love him, but am not in love with him. I like to believe he's changed, but I'm scared about being hurt again and that maybe it's the thrill of the chase. I also don't want to hurt my BF - who I really like but am not sure is right for me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for your help !! My head's really going round in circles right now - but I know I need to start making decisions and sticking with them !! What you said about seeing a future together is very important - perhaps I have been looking a bit too short term rather than long term..
I know I need to sort out the situation with my current BF. He had a very nasty experience with his ex, and is possibly suffering from depression because of her - so think that's why he can't give me what I want right now. I feel bad abandoning him while I haven't seen him in his true light - but I also need to decide whether or not he's right for me in the first instance.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): All ì can say is you need to clear up your head. You have the answer to this, not me. Go see your ex and figure it out, maybe it's just exictment bc he is finally coming back, or maybe he is the one.
Do your best to figure it out bcx you will always wonder and that's not fair for your bf.
Listen to your gut feeling, you'll have the answer. In life, it is in taking risks that we advance.
good luck
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A
female
reader, SweetSixteen +, writes (23 January 2007):
 Firstly if you don't feel your bf is right for you what are you doing with him? secondly it sounds as though your ex still likes you very much, but have you considered why he needed space in the first place? maybe if you thought about it you'd see whether or not there was a future there.there's not point loving a man in you're not in love with him cos if your not in love with him you probably love him as a brother or a cousini'm not going to tell you which one to choose cos thats up to you, what i am trying to say is stop and think about your future, 3 years i a long time and maybe you do need to think about where it is going.remember love can only be love if you're in love with himHaope i helped SweetSixteen!
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