A
female
age
30-35,
*harisma212
writes:I have been in a LDR with my bf n have been together for about 4years now.im from another province from his.So i started stayin with him this year.Things have been very hard for me coz he would choose to go watch soccer at night and leave me alone in the rental room.When he doesnt go to work,he still leave me for where he wanted to be.Today i was using a bathing dish outside,it became very late and forgot to put inside.So he went out to take the dish coz he wanted to bath.He found the dish with kids dirty clothes in it.So he asked who's clothes were they and i said,i dont know,maybe they are for the kids that stay here.(remember wehave rented a roo here). So he said i should go ask the woman of this about the clothed and said i cant do that coz that woman speaks only zulu and i speak sotho,we cant get each other,u go there and ask yourself.At that time i was lying on the bed so he held the dish up and pour me with all those dirty wet clothes over my body.Am writin this with a painful heart as i speak.Now he took the photo we took together and teared them apart without saying anything.What should i do about the situation or what does all that mean when you see.thanx for reading Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2013): What he did to you by throwing wet clothes on you is unacceptable. Next he will start hitting you. Leave the guy, youre still young. Concentrate on your studies or building your career. Prince charming will come along.
A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (15 March 2013):
 It sounds like you've made up your mind to leave him. With regards to the sim card incident, I really don't see what the fuss is about. It's not like he's having an affair with his ex. He is just referring her for business purposes.
Perhaps the both of you have realized that you are incompatible. If you feel that the love is gone, then the best thing to do would be to leave.
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A
female
reader, Charisma212 +, writes (15 March 2013):
Charisma212 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI inderstand all that but it is still hard to sit him down.There were and still are many times i tried to do that but what does he say?hey plz,u r making noise or you are annoying.He just say whatever he wantss.I am able to explain everything to him that he does that bothers me but he says nothing.
In Feb,i lost my sim card and decided to go buy another for sim swap.He said "you shouldnt bother go buyin,coz theres a girl that i know, she sells simcard.All you have to do is to go with my cousin, he know where the lady is in town.when you get there tell the lady that u were sent there by him".he even mentioned the girl's name
The girl is his ex.Hissister once told me about the girl and him but now he said i should go there to get a simcard.In other he meant to say that he has an ex that sells simcard and am supposedto to her to get one
i was so surprisedand felt i was disrespected coz i wouldnt have done what he did to me.So what kind of a guy is he?is he okay upstairs?or it meant nothing and he is just innocent?
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000 +, writes (15 March 2013):
It sounds like you guys had your first major argument as a couple. When a couple starts living together, frustrations will build up and erupt into arguments, like the one you just experienced. When he is calm and you are calm, sit down and talk it over. Find out what is frustrating him and tell him what is frustrating you. Communication (not shouting or bullying or threatening), but kind, open, compassionate communication will help you get through this as a couple. Four years is a long time to be together and most of it was through a LDR. There must be love between the two of you. Rely on that love to get you through this rough patch. As long as he is not hurting you physically or calling you nasty names, then try to salvage your relationship. Cook him a nice meal, sit down together as a couple and talk it over.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (14 March 2013):
There's never any reason to stay with someone who makes you unhappy, especially if you feel like you've done your best to make it work (if it's even worth doing your best).
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