A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guysI'm in long distance relationship.I love the guy with all my heart.We haven't had any sexual connection.My problem is that he is soo crazy about me and he wants to move to my city.How can I tell him I'm hiv positive.I'm afraid to lose him or must I text him
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hiv , long distance, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Thank u guys,I will do the right thing.I told him we need to talk seriously.I hope God will give me the strength to face him,but I don't have choice I have to.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (15 March 2013):
 My brother's husband has HIV. My brother does not. My brother has HEP-C, his husband does not.
HIV is no longer the death sentence it was. And you can be in a committed loving physical relationship with a partner and still keep them safe.
It's SCARY to tell someone something like this, especially if they don't understand it too well.
I like what Tisha said... You just have to be upfront and matter of fact... but do not text this information and do not send it via email.
You need to either tell him face to face if you see each other regularly... or you must at bare minimum do it on a phone call... or maybe a skype video message if you don't call.
how long are you two LDR?
have you met in real life?
what's the plan to meet and end the distance?
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (15 March 2013):
 you definitely need to tell him. face to face is a good way to go about it. but also, perhaps over the phone or an email, as he may need some time to think it over afterwards and want to be alone while doing so.
i know this must be extremely hard for you to talk about. i'm sure it doesn't come easy. i hope he takes it well and everything turns out great. good luck.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 March 2013):
 "Harry, we have become so close yet I have been keeping something very important from you. I can no longer conceal this from you, and I will have to take the consequences.
I am HIV positive. I wish I were not, I wish I never had to say these words to you. "
That's what I think you should say, but I'm not a professional in dealing with HIV…
There are resources out there to help you: http://www.hivleadership.org/who-we-are/national-networks/south-africa-napwa.html
http://www.tac.org.za/Documents/Literacy/wshtpdfs/66-73.pdf
I think you just need to face the situation as bravely as you can. He may not be able to handle it but then it sets you free to find someone who can.
Best wishes, please do be sure to have the best care you can.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (14 March 2013):
 HIV isn't a death sentence like it used to be, if you explain to him the facts he will be less freaked out. If you stay safe in your relationship there is no reason why it should cause a problem. If he loves you he will understand, good luck.
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