A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Should I break up with my boyfriend? He has great wonderful qualities, and I do love him, but I feel like he doesn't put a lot of effort into our relationship. I don't know if my expectations are too high, but are there guys out there who really put more effort into relationships? Would I be foolish to break up with my boyfriend just because I want someone who puts more effort into a relationship?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 July 2011):
 That totally depends on what you judge to be putting in the effort or not. Can you give examples?
I think you'd not find a man who puts in more effort, as you said your boyfriend does put in effort, just not enough. But what's enough? It can be hard to find a man who checks all the boxes, and if the effort is the only thing you can complain about, and it isn't a lack of effort but only the amount of effort, I think you need to stick to your man!
A
female
reader, Shelley Harris  +, writes (30 June 2011):
 Relationships have to be worked on continuously by both partners, I don't know what you regard as 'effort' do you mean that he puts in less effort than you. You need to have a conversation about what you are expecting of him, and him of you, there may be compromises, but when our partner does not live up to our expectations relationships can go wrong. He needs to know what you expect and whether he can fulfil your expectations, you may have to step up a notch too, it takes two to keep a relationship healthy. Sit down and talk with him,there is a way to say this and a way NOT to say this, be calm, don't shout just say how you feel honestly and ask him what he needs you to do, make sure this is a two way thing and you are not blaming him, but you are just pointing out something that is troubling you.Good Luck.Shelley
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 June 2011):
 What do you mean by effort?? hard to say if you should leave or not as your expectations may be outrageous.
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